Sadness and Sorrow
by Adamina20
Summary: Sakura has a big problem. She is left behind by everyone and all alone. She hurts herself. When Naruto returns to Konoha, Itachi and Kisame kidnap her. But things turn out different than expected. Sakura has trouble staying faithful to her village. ItaSak
1. Chapter 1

**Yo,**

**This story is about Sakura, I'm going to put alot of myself in this story... Sakura is not** **happy, she hurts herself. If you can't handle ''morbid'' things like that, then don't read this fanfiction.**

**I don't own Naruto...**

**I changed this chapter a bit, I hope you won't mind.**

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**Chapter 1**

It all started when Sasuke and Naruto left. They left Konoha to grow stronger, both getting it from another person. They cared more about that than about everything else... even more than about Sakura. This had stung her, she hated that they both left her. She hated them for it. So all she could think of was requesting training from Tsunade-sama. This was her way of trying to keep up with them.

Kakashi was gone often. He had lots of missions to do. Of course they had kept in touch for while, with them being the only two members left of team 7 it had felt only like an obligation. But then Kakashi simply got too busy and forgot about her. They lost contact.

She was still only 14 when her father died during a mission. Starting from that point, Sakura's life had been one long dark period. Her mother died 2 years later in a fire-accident. That dark period now seemed to be an everlasting one. One that Sakura couldn't get out of. The loneliness was sickening. No friends, no family... There wasn't really anyone left Sakura cared for. Everyone she ever loved left her already.

Now at the young age of 17, Sakura lives alone, finally seeing the misery she's in. Sakura's heart never really recovered from her parents' death. Perhaps it was because no one had supported her during that time. The girl never figured out where they all were, when she was in pain. Kakashi, Naruto, Sasuke, Lee, Ino... Where was everyone when she needed the support?

Sakura now has a job in the hospital, being high ranked. This is one of the reasons why she 's able to afford a small apartment. After her work, she always goes home to an empty apartment. No family, no friends... She never had a boyfriend during these dark years. She just couldn't, she just couldn't love someone anymore. Her heart was full of sadness, there was no room for such thing.

The rest of her friends were busy training, growing stronger, falling in love... Lee, Ino, Shikamaru... And she was left out, she didn't grow with them. She never went out, because she never felt like it.

Now, her friends don't even acknowledge her anymore. Her introvert attitude has caused them to expand the gap between them. They don't even see her anymore. She has become invisible. It's as if they ignore her, as if they've forgotten that she excists. That made her feel confused, and as time past by, she drifted further away from social life. She had tried to cling onto them, but found it too hard. She tried to act the same as they did. She tried to be happy, to go out sometimes... but that only made her feel more miserable. Sakura was already too broken. And now, they are forgetting her.

Long had Sakura resisted this thought, she told herself it wasn't true, but no one even talked to her anymore. People simply don't like to hang with weaklings, with burdens. They avoid them.

_Why? Why...?,_ she asked herself over and over. But nothing changes... she feels so alone.

_Why do they all ignore me?_

_Why weren't they there for me?_

_Why am I like this?_

_Why? Why? Why?_

The longer Sakura was left alone, the further she drifted away from everyone, from reality. The longer no one recognized her, the more sad she started to feel. She often cried herself to sleep, still with that stupid and annoying question:

_Why? Why? Why?_

Days past, days without any happiness, or relief. Still with that sickening feeling of loneliness and emptiness. The feeling of sadness stayed inside her, and after some time, the sadness slowly started to change into hatred. Anger and hatred slowly ate her feelings, making her numb. She wanted to feel alive again. She hurt herself just so she could feel alive, just to espress the pain in her heart, just to cut the numbness away for a moment.

Scars... first one, then another... then more followed.

--

Sakura sits on her bed, kunai in her right hand, the tip pointing to her arm. She doesn't want to die, she just wants to feel alive. To get rid of that sickening feeling of loneliness and numbness.

She presses the sharp tip into her arm. Blood slowly comes out of the little wound. With a slow motion, she reaps the kunai further over her wrist. Blood drips on her legs, a sharp pain... it's unbearable, yet a satisfaction. She just wants to feel alive, to be awakened for a moment from this eternal nightmare. She doesn't cry at the pain she causes herself. No, she can't cry anymore, she's too numb, too far away. Long years or ignorance caused her to be like this.

She can feel nothing else but a pain in her heart, like someone squeezes it. They all forgot her, everyone left her, nothing can bring her back to reality. She is living in her own world now. Alone with her morbid thoughts and the knife.

_Why? _

Pain, in her arm, itching pain...

_Why? _

Blood, staining her hand, her legs and the bed sheets.

_Why?_

She can't get out of her world anymore, she wants to, but finds that she's already too far away... She wants to get out so badly. She wants to get rid of this emptiness, the numbness. She HAS to get it away. It's too morbid, too rotten, too lonely, too painful.

_Get away, get away, cut it away, cut it away, until it's gone..._

_Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?_

A sob, but no tears. She is crying, yes she is. But no tears fall during. Inside she's slowly breaking for the umpteenth time. Her heart is being ripped to peaces. She doesn't want to feel alone anymore... She can't stand it anymore, it's too long, too long too alone. The realization of her miserable life and loneliness scares her. Knowing the fact that no one cares for her kills her.

_Get out, Cut it away. Cut it out of yourself!_

_Please... someone save me! _

Sakura falls asleep, forgetting to nurse her wounds. But she doesn't care about getting an infection. More pain means more feelings. More feelings would mean: no numbness. She just wishes that someone could take away this nightmare, just so that she wouldn't have to do it herself anymore. With the knife...

--

Sakura wakes up, finding that her whole sheet is covered with blood. Feeling irritated, she gets up and glances at her alarm clock. With a rush, she throws the sheet into the washing machine.

After quickly showering and getting dressed, she gets her bandages. She tightly wraps them around her wrist, just so no one would see it. She would never show the world her scars, the ones created by herself.

It's time to leave, since it's already 8 o'clock. Locking her apartment, she quickly leaves for the hospital, running on her way to it.

Once she gets in the hospital, she pulls on her white coat. She grabs her to-do list and starts checking the medical supplies. She writes down which medicine needs to be ordered and sorts out a few of them. After that, she starts doing rounds. A Chunin she's unfamiliar with, needs a treatment for some infected wounds. Later an emergency case comes in with a broken leg and a stab in the neck. They need Sakura's help for this case.

''Haruno-sama, quickly! Emergency room 4!'' a nurse yells.

Sakura only nods and quietly follows the girl. She enters the Emergency room, seeing a lot of blood on the floor and stretcher. A young medic tries to heal the neckwound, while a nurse attempts to hold the struggling man down.  
With unknown speed, Sakura is next to the medic and carefully takes over.

''Start working on his leg!'' she orders, pushing chakra into the Jounin's neck. With her chakra she feels that his artery is hit. Blood flows all over her hands. The man tries to struggle again.

''Hold him!'' she yells, fearing for his life-threatening situation. Though Sakura's emotionally disordered, she never thinks of herself during a situation like this. She would never let someone die in her hands, that would make everything worse.

Finally after more than ten minutes, the bleeding in the man's neck stops. Sakura lets the other medic take of the bandages, while looking at his leg. The pink haired girl sighs tiredly, she used a lot of chakra. After leaving instructions for the man's leg, Sakura slowly exits the E.R. And then an assistent approaches her, looking very scared.

''Haruno-san!'' Sakura looks at the girl and raises her brows, letting her know she got her attention.

''An injured man has arrived, but he won't let the medics heal him. Once he heared your name, he requested you!''

''Oh?'' she replies tiredly. Even though her shift has ended, she decides to visit the patient. That patient now got her attention.

''Also, Tsunade-sama ordered five ANBU to watch him day and night. She said he needs to be watched and that his life is in danger.'' Sakura 's eyes widen and already has an idea of who this patient might be.

''Room number 067!'' the girl says, as if she can read Sakura's thoughts. The young medic doesn't answer but drags her body in a quick pace to the room. She opens the door and sees a pale Naruto laying on the bed, pulling an angry face at the male medic. The medic that obviously tried to heal him is standing impatiently at the side of his bed.

''Sakura-chan!'' he yells instantly when he sees her. Sakura watches him. His happy blue eyes, the big grin on her face... It darkens her mood.

''Naruto'' she responds coldly, giving him a nod.

This confuses him of course. He had expected her to act a bit warmer than she just did. This was their first meeting in nearly three years... She just lacks happiness and enthusiasm. He probably doesn't even know her parents died, since he never once tried to contact her.

''Sakura-chan! You work in this hopsital?! Are you going to heal me?'' he tries again cheerfully. But Sakura shakes her head.

''No, Naruto. I only came here to tell you this: I have work to do, so stop being so stubborn and let this man heal you. I'm too busy right now.''

Naruto's eyes widen and he just stays silent, looking at her with sad, big eyes. ''Sakura-chan... What happened to you?''

Sakura scoffs bitterly. She turns around, not even thinking about answering to that foolish quieston. How could he just act like nothing happened? As if everything would be normal once he returned. No, too many things had changed... nothing could go back to the way they were. Nothing...

She didn't really tell Naruto the truth. She wasn't busy at all, her shift ended 2 minutes ago. But she just didn't feel like catching up or telling him what happened to her in these three years. When she exits the hospital, she realizes that she has forgotten to ask Naruto why his life is in danger, and why he needs to be watched by five ANBU.

_It can wait..._

The sun is already setting when Sakura gets home. Tiredness makes her decide to skip diner for today. The healing session has exhausted her too much. Not bothering to turn on some lights or to even undress herself, she drops herself on her bed and falls asleep.

--

The girl wakes up in the middle of the night. Fear squeezes her heart tightly. She dreamed about Naruto, but she couldn't really remember exactly what. The dream triggered something. It awaked her feelings.

Sakura sits up, running a hand through her hair. She closes her eyes in sadness.

_He never once... thought of me while he was gone. They never cared for me, they never cared about what happened to me._

The realization of that she is indeed all alone, hurts her once again. She never gets used to it, she always gets hurt by it. She always thought that sleep would take away the feelings...no sadness, no hatred, nothing. But this dream she had, can be compared to a nightmare. It triggered everything. Pressing her hands on her face, she starts sobbing. Her heart cries, but there are no tears. She reaches underneath her pillow, it's too dark to see anything.

Her arms are scarred, there are so many. What would Naruto say if he ever saw them?

She tries not to, but her heart aches. The girl grabs the kunai from under her pillow. She sobs again. Loneliness captures her mind completely. No, she doesn't want to go into that world again, she doesn't want to... but she needs to.

With a sudden move she gets up and runs to the door. She opens it with a lot of force. With the knife still grasped in her clenched fist, she watches the heavy rain outside.

Without a second thought, she sprints out. The rain closes her in completely. The midnight coldness and rain make her eyes wet. She runs, and runs and runs even faster. Not knowing where to go to, there was no place she could to go. So she choses the forest. Sakura keeps running, water splashing around her. She tries to free herself, to free herself from the loneliness by exhausting herself.

She runs until she trips and falls down hard. She pants, watching the trees surrounding her. Here. She truly is all alone, but somehow it feels different than being locked up in that small apartment. She feels more at ease here.

She doesn't even try to catch her breath, as she watches the knife in her hand. She has done it so often, it's an addiction somehow. The pain, the feeling of being alive, she wants it, she needs it. But another side of her hates it, another side of her hates the feeling of being alive. Such a hard contradiction.

She scratches her legs. Dark liquid drips out of the wound, mingling with the rain, only reflected by the moon. She reaps her upperlegs and her calves. Sakura throws her head backwards, only concentrating on the raindrops falling on her face and the stinging pain of the wounds.

Pain...

Soreness and pain.

She cries inside.

_Why?_

She stands slowly, wiping some wet locks out of her face. The girl walks to the river. It looks beautiful and perfect. It's waves and the reflection of the moon. Oh, how her crazy mind now wishes to be part of such perfection. In a crazy moment, she jumps in. Not caring about her clothes, not caring about her wounds, just enjoying the moon, it's reflection and the coldness.

_Why?_

She looks at her hands, the blood remains on her hands. The water is so cold, her lips turn blue. She dives, letting the water close her in completely. Her skirt moves up and down at the vibration of the water. Sakura opens her eyes and looks at her hands again, her right one is still holding the kunai. Everything seems blue, because of the moon and the fact she is still underwater. She traces the scars with her finger...

_Why, water, do you close yourself around me, even when my blood stained hands cannot be cleaned, ever._

She comes up.

_Why, air, do you keep filling my lungs, even though I'm rotten inside._

She deeply inhales, throwing her head backwards and screams her painful lungs out.

_Why, moon, do you keep reflecting yourself on my wet skin, when it is already scarred._

She keeps screaming.

_Why?_

_I'm already injured. _

_I'm already spoiled, ruined._

_I'm already lost..._

Her voice sounds raw, and her throat hurts. She shakes her head, throwing her wet, shoulder-length hair on her back. She watches her hands and wrists again. The scars are a sign of her hatred, she hates herself. She hates being alone, empty and most of all: the numbness. The sadness has already turned into hatred. Hatred burns her heart, loneliness bitters her soul, emptiness makes her uncaring and numbness eats away her feelings.

She swims a little and looks back at the shore. Her eyes travel up, staring at the dark trees. And then she sees it...

Glowing red eyes watch her, and she makes the mistake by looking straight into them. Blood red eyes paralyse her body. Fear takes over her body, and every muscle in her entire body stiffens. She can't move anymore and slowly starts sinking into the deep water. Just before her head goed under, she takes a deep breath. She sinks further and looks up, seeing the blue moon. She closes her eyes in desperation.

_This is the end, I'm going to drown._

_Paralysed... so stupid._

Lost in thougts, lost in fear she feels a hand grabbing the shoulder of her red-Haruno sweater. Two strong hands pull her out of the water, not caring to be gently. Her already injured calve is scratched by the sharp edge of a rock. The second her head gets out of the water, she deeply inhales and coughs.

She is dropped down and though she's still stiff, she opens her eyes. She looks up, again into those red eyes. She can see the person those eyes belong to this time. Sakura can't see his entire face, just his eyes and forehead. But she knows who he is. His dark cloak gives away his identity.

Sakura just looks at him, she's not afraid. That probably has to do with the state she is in now. She knows he's dangerous, but she has nothing to fear. She doesn't mind dying, no one would miss her. She never dared to do it herself. But the situation now causes Sakura to get curious.

_Why is he here in Konoha? Why did he pull me out of the water? Why did he come here?_

He bends over and snatches the kunai out of her hand. She just lets him. Even with a kunai she wouldn't be able to get away. This guy is too strong for her.

He takes her in, from head to toe, every detail. His eyes linger on the wounds on her legs, her white, medic skirt doesn't hide them. He examines her while she still lies uncomfortable one the ground. She speaks up. ''Why are you looking at me, Uchiha Itachi?''

He notices her not being afraid, but he doesn't answer her question. He just states: ''Haruno Sakura. You're coming with me.''

And before Sakura can say anything, he preforms some handseals. Chakra-ropes appear around her wrists and feet. He bends over again and pulls her arm, to make her stand up.

''Why...?''

Itachi again does not answer. He closes the distance between them and with a quick move he swings her over his shoulder. The Uchiha walks to a tree, jumps in it and leaves Konoha; Sakura's home...

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**Chapter 2 will be ready soon.**

**I hope you liked it**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi, chapter 2 is here.**

**Enjoy **

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**Chapter 2**

Her paralysed limbs slowly start to feel again, but she still can't move because of the Chakra ropes. Itachi is still carrying her over his shoulder, a very uncomfortable position. His hard shoulder is pressed into her stomach. He moves very quick, even though she's an extra weight. He moves as if she is as light as a feather. She can't see his face or where they're going. Strangely enough, she doesn't care that much. She lets him take her. A few hours ago, she asked him why he was taking her, but she's smart enough to figure it out herself. Naruto's in Konoha, Anbu watches him and Jiraiya's in town too. He probably needs her as a hostage, but that's foolish. Naruto won't come for her, because she treated him like crap today. Even if he wants to, Tsunade will not let him. His life is more important than hers. Sakura doesn't care about that, she stopped caring a long time ago. She lets herself being carried, not even trying to struggle, it wouldn't have helped nor did she wanted to. She didn't care if he would torture her to death. She never had the guts the kill herself, maybe he did.

Itachi slows his pace and then he squeezes her leg a bit. ''Hmm..?'' Sakura answers weakly and Itachi stands still. It's early in the morning, they had traveled all night. Without a break, without a word. The sun would be rising soon. Judging Itachi's breathing, he didn't seem tired at all, yet he stopped. Sakura looks around, they're standing in tall grass. She sees that they are surrounded by trees and bushes. But other than that there's nothing more to see. She hadn't paid any attention during those hours of traveling. She just felt too tired and broken. It probably didn't really matter anyway. They would kill her eventually, when or where wasn't relevant in this case. But then... what IS relevant, she suddenly wonders.

Sakura notices that the only difference from this woods compared to Konoha's is the temperature. Her hands and legs are freezing. Sakura's clothes are still wet and she shivers. Her short breaths turn into small clouds. Her stomach stings, her legs feel heavy. Itachi puts her down, not even looking at her. He observes their surroundings, at the same time he suddenly pushes the girl hard with only one hand. This causes her to fall back hard on the ground, landing on her rear. Luckily the tall grass breaks her fall. Sakura wants to yell in anger, but finds herself unable. Too tired, too caught off guard by this whole situation. Why did this have to happen to her? That damned Uchiha! She tries to stand again, but suddenly she halts as she sees the man turning his Sharingan off. Sakura eyes him carefully as he sits down himself. He has not given her even the slightest bit of his attention during this whole fucking journey. They must be miles away from Konoha, judging Itachi's speed. She somewhat finds it fascinating how he kept on jumping from tree to tree all this time, non stop. Even with her as an extra weight.

Her green eyes travel to her own body, as she shifts into an easier position. She looks like a mess, wet clothes, wet curly hair, pale skin, goosebumps all over and dark blood trails over her leg. The wounds don't look so good. Sakura fails to see Itachi looking at the shoulder and sleeve of his cloak. He notices bloodmarks, created by the girl. Strangely he doesn't really react on it, nor attempts to remove it. He just looks at it, observing, taking it in, and figuring things with his brilliant mind. His gaze suddenly fixes on her legs and the wounds. Then his black eyes look at her directly, as if demanding something from her.

But she looks away, she ignores him. Partly because she feels hate towards the man who just captured her and partly because she fears him. The speed he traveled with and how easily he had pushes her to the ground... she sees his power. She feels inferior to him. And now she finds herself unable to look him in the eyes. Into those piercing eyes. So instead she looks up at the trees, but she can feel his eyes on her. Realization strikes her. She really is a burden... She scoffs and closes her eyes in disappointment.

_Even like this I'm no use... No one will miss me._

When Sakura opens her eyes again, she sees that the man has closed his. But he's still sitting up straight. She has no idea how long they're having a break, perhaps their travel has already ended here. The girl suddenly feels the urge to leave this man. She feels the urge to run, to run her feelings out. Run so that she wouldn't feel this bad. Just run... He won't notice when he's asleep.

_Yes, he will. You know he will._

She sighs and lies down tiredly. The horrible feeling of numbess takes over her mind. The realization of being equal to nothing fills her heart. She's so cold, there's no feeling left in her hands. Her lips are still blue. She shuts her eyes and slowly brings up her hand. The girl clumsy rolls up her sleeve. With a quick but quiet motion, she starts peeling off the wet bandages, covering the wound she created the previous night. She puts the bandages underneath her back. With her fingernails she scratches the wound again. She gritts her teeth and squeezes her eyes shut when she feels the incredible pain of a wound being reopened. She drops her hand and lets the coldness win. Coldness numbs her mind and slowly she drifts off, unaware of the eyes that are observing her.

--

Uncomfortable, pain in her stomach again. She opens her eyes and the first thing she can see is... darkness. Only a few seconds later, she notices that something is blocking her sight. It's a collar... a cloak's collar. His cloak.

She is wrapped tightly in it and Itachi is carrying her yet again over his shoulder. So their journey wasn't over yet... Her muscles are very stiff and she has no feelings in her legs and arms. Even covered with the cloak, it's too cold for her. The girl is not dressed for this weather and her wet clothes don't help either.

She lifts her chin, so that she can see for a bit. It's noon, she can tell. But the sun isn't shining , it's raining again. She can hear the raindrops on the cloaks back. Stangely Sakura enjoys the sound. Her hands are completely numb, she tries to rub them warm, but the ropes won't let her. She shivers and feels drowsy.

''We'll be arriving soon.'' Itachi suddenly speaks. His voice sounds deep and smooth, unlike how it sounded last night. It had sounded harsh and a bit raw.

Sakura doesn't say anything, he already knows she heard him. After a few minutes, Sakura's eyes start to close again in tiredness. Dispite all inconvenieces, her mind drifts off again. All that she can think of is her frozen body. Even her dream consist of coldness.

--

How Sakura magaged to sleep in that position was a mystery to her. But ten minutes later she immediately woke up after feeling the man stop in his tracks. She blinks a few times. He puts her down and grabs her upperarm bruisingly. He starts dragging her along, ungently, causing her to have trouble standing on her numb feet and legs. She keeps losing balance, as he keeps dragging her. He gives her no chance to see where they are. The only things she manages to see with her half lidded eyes, are lots of trees and eventually a house. She figures the house must be kind of isolated in these woods.

He stops all of a sudden and pushes her, hard and again with only one hand. Sakura stumbles and crashes into the door. Her face hits the wood hard. She whimpers in pain as she feels warm liquid drip over her mouth and down her chin. Sakura pushes herself away from the door with her elbow and places her hand over her painful nose. Once she regains her balance, she is startled by Itachi, standing right behind her. He holds her in front of him after kicking hard against the door. It doesn't open, so now they wait. The girl's head hangs low, she grunts in pain as Itachi holds her shoulders firmly from behind. The blood drips down her arm now too, it colours some of her pink locks red. She feels very dizzy because of the blow.

''Don't ruin my cloak.'' Itachi speaks softly and right after that, the door opens. It's the shark-man: Hoshigaki Kisame. Damn that guy is tall, she notices. She has to look up to watch him, her hand still placed on her nose. He reveals his sharp teeth to her in a mean smile.

''Ah, you're finally here!'' Kisame's eyes leave the Kunoichi and he looks at his partner. Kisame's head cocks to the left as he notices Itachi wearing only a halffishnet-shirt and black pants in this cold weather.

''It took a little longer than expected, the hostage wasn't at her home.'' Kisame stares down at her, again a big grin appears on his face. Sakura looks down again, noticing a small pool of blood right in front of her feet. Apparently the blue skinned man saw it too, since he started chuckling.

''My, isn't that your cloak, Itachi-san?''

''It is. It seems that Konoha's kunoichi don't find it necessary to dress properly.'' he replies disparaging, looking down on the girl. She barely even listens to the two speaking. The girl is too dizzy and feels like vomitting. Oh how badly she just wants to sleep now.

''Kisame, please take the girl to her room, and meet me in the livingroom.''

''Right.''

--

''When will we use her?'' the blue skinned man asks while the black haired one warms himself at the fireplace.

''First we wait, until it becomes clear to them that the girl is kidnapped. Then after a few weeks, we will send a message, which tells them that we have her captured. Then we will wait some more, two to three weeks, so that they can decide on what their next move will be. This extra time may drive the container into wrong decisions, he may go save her on his own. An advantage to us. Patience is important in this matter.''

''Ah, when Naruto doesn't go on his own, we will have to negotiate? Him for the girl?'' The shark asks and Itachi nods.

''I don't think they'll accep't.'' Kisame sits down on the couch, snapping his neck.

''It was leader-sama's idea. We'll see how it turns out.''

Kisame thinks for a bit and then puts his thought into words: ''Itachi-san, when the kyuubi is in our possession, and there's no further use of the girl... Can I kill her?'' a hunger for blood is audible in the man's voice. Itachi instantly looks his partner straight in the eyes. He narrows his dark eyes.

''You'll keep your hands to yourself until our plans have succeeded. After that, you may.''

''Now, aren't you the one that broke her nose?'' Kisame laughs. Itachi just ignores his partner.

--

So there she is, in her room. It's small, no windows (so she's in complete darkness), one bed and a rug. Kisame took her shuriken-holster and pouch, which contained all of her weapons. Her hands are free again and she still wears the cloak. Sakura sits down on the filthy bed, staring into the distance. Inside she's crying. Crying of exhaustion, crying for all trouble, crying cause of the pain. Her hands shoot up, and she starts healing her nose. An iron taste is in her mouth because of all the blood. That fucking bastard! After healing herself, she rests her head against the wall. She feels that urge again, the urge to free herself. But she has no knife, no sharp object. Nothing. Her remembers the wound on her leg, it feels raw. She strechtes her arm and scratches her fingernails over it, causing the deep cut to bleed again. It's not really effective, but at least she feels something. The girl repeats the action over and over again, until she has completely reopened the wound. The blood... it starts dripping down again, staining her hand and the bed. She bites her lip hard and tastes yet again the bitterness of pain and blood. She sighs.

_Why, even now, do I have that urge? Why can't it stop? Why am I like this?_

She keeps biting her lip, causing a small stream of the blood to run down her chin. Out of the blue, the door opens. She gasps. Itachi's standing in the doorway, his hand on the doorknob. He starts speaking softly, but dangerous. ''Listen carefully, I'm only going to say this once. You are in our hands. We have complete control over you. We choose to leave you alone in this room and not to tie you up. But if you don't follow our rules, if you don't do as we say, things might turn a lot worse for you here.''

Sakura's eyes are wide, her heart is racing in her chest. The Uchiha's eyes linger on her leg, immediately noticing the wound. ''That includes your ''special'' habit.'' And then Sakura loses control over herself, she hisses: ''No.''

Itachi's expression changes slightly. He doesn't look angry with her denial, just interested. ''You will, or I'll make you.'' voice threatening. Somewhat provoking her to cross the line. Sakura scoffs bitterly, of course feeling scared of his threats, but wanting to provoke him as well. What could possibly be worse than the morbid world she is living in? What could he possibly do to her? A hurried whisper, almost inaudible leaves her mouth, but Itachi hears it.

''Make me...''

Itachi's eyes narrow for a second and then he slowly walks to her. Even the way he walks is threatening, dangerously calm and slow. Sakura, while sitting on the bed, tries to back away, but her back meets the wall. He stops in front of the bed and looks down on the girl. He lets her feel their difference in strength by looking down on her. He shows her how dangerous he is. With a fast move he grabs her wrist bruisingly. There are lots of options to stop her: Scare her (the thing he tries now), hurt her, tie her, shock her or kill her. But that's not really an option. So he grabs her wrist and watches her reaction, but he finds none. She simply doesn't respond to his sudden movements. Now he squeezes her wrist hard, feeling her radius-bone twist under his grip. This time there is a reaction. The pain of a bone nearly breaking is so much different than a self-inflicted cut. The feeling of bone breaking hurts Sakura in a way she doesn't want to be hurt. She does not want to feel this sort of pain. Because this pain is truly unbearable. This pain isn't controlled like those cuts. He keeps hold of her wrist, slightly increasing his force until her free hand shoots up, attempting to break free. But he catches it, holding now her other wrist too in the same position, nearly breaking it. Sakura whimpers in pain, but the Uchiha doesn't let go. This is a battle for power, making it clear who dominates.

''Why... Why do you want me to stop?'' Sakura's eyes are shut in pain, not giving in. She will NOT ask him to stop.

''We need you alive, otherwise we can't lure the kyuubi container to us.'' he lessens his force, but still holds her wrists firmly. Sakura's eyes open and she looks at his face. This was the first time she got the chance to get a good look of his face. Her green eyes watch every part of his face, feeling more at ease when she sees how much he looks like a former teammate of hers. But that feeling of comfort was foolish, she knew that but couldn't help herself.

''I'm not trying to kill myself.'' she speaks softly, her voice slightly shaking.

''You have emotional disorders, emotional disorders can force a person like you in a situation like this into suicide. I'm not taking any risk. Some of your injuries are serious, like this one here...'' he squeeze her left wrist, ''The one that you are trying to hide with your sleeve.''

Sakura's eyes widen in shock. _How could he have noticed?! How did he...?_

With this Sakura stops resisting, she shakes her head in defeat. He now knows he has won their battle. He lets go of her wrists and turns around. While walking to the door he says: ''There will be some food in a few minutes. You may come down.'' He shuts the door, leaving the girl behind in complete darkness.

--

She didn't come down that evening. She stayed in her room, at that moment it didn't matter to her if she'd die of hunger. As long as she could hinder them. As long as she could slow them down. She fell asleep pretty soon after Itachi left her. Out of exhaustion, out of despair she went to sleep, hoping that she would know what to do when she woke up again. She did wake up, but way too soon. There was no way was she could tell what time was. Her feeling told her it was somewhere during the night. Sakura sits up and tries to see something. She fails of course, since there is no form of light in her room. No window, no candle... Even if she had candles, she couldn't lighten them without any matches or her chakra.

She gets up and slowly makes her way to where she thinks the door might be. She feels a doorknob and turns it. It's locked, the door is locked. She has been locked up. Angrily she kicks against the wooden door and sinks down to her knees. She hugs them, and slowly shifts against the wall, further away from the door. Her head rests on her knees. Feeling nothing else than despair she scratches the wound on her leg again. _He won't notice..._

One minute later, the door flies open. As Sakura wonders how someone could come in without her hearing the door being unlocked or even hearing footsteps, Kisame lifts her roughly and throws her on the bed. She whimpers and starts screaming as he holds her arms on her back and ties them with a rope. He does the same with her feet and ties them to her hands. As quick as he enters, he walks to the door again. And right before he shuts the door, leaving her in that darkness again, she can hear Itachi's voice.

''Was I right?''

''Of course you were.'' Kisame answers. And then there is only silence. Sakura screams endlessly, but no one hears her. All there is, is silence.

--

Living without any relief, without any happiness. Waking everyday, with that sad feeling, slowly it starts to numb you. And then one day, you wake up... feeling numb. Emotionless, yet lonely.

Where have all the feeling gone to? Did they disappear? Did they vanish? Or did they... die?

They disappeared, but a choking feeling has replaced them. A heavy burden, a suffocating darkness has taken their place. It slowly strangles you, like an iron hand squeezing your throat.

Living without an answer, that eternal question running through your mind, with everything you do. Never an interruption, never one moment freed, it's always hunting you, never leaving you alone... Why?

Living with that darkness, those thoughts. None of them are happy. They're all sad, angry, and morbid. You can't get them out... they're stuck, stuck inside you. You can't get them out, they won't vanish. Except when you feel something, when the feeling distracts the thoughts. The feeling of: pain. You're being released, for that short moment. Just that moment. Release... such a wonderfull feeling. Is death like this?

Sakura understands it now. She'll have to change. She MUST change. She must get rid of it. But how?

You'll read that in the next chapter=P

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**Please review,**

**The reviews keep me writing...**


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm not a goth on the inside, nor on the outside. Just expressing some feelings here.**

**I hope you'll enjoy this chapter.**

* * *

**Chapter 3**

Sakura opens her eyes, still and always covered in that horrible darkness. She is still lying on her stomach, head pressed into the smelling thin mattress, hands and legs tied behind her back. Her hitai-ate had fallen off, causing her hair to cover her face completely. She tries to blow the locks away, but fails. The girl is so tired, but unable to sleep anymore of hunger. Her stomach growls loudly. The girl has no idea what time it is, just that she is still tied, on the bed and in that same dark room.

It feels as if she didn't sleep very long, almost as if she didn't sleep at all. She shivers, feeling cold with her bare legs and on top of the sheets instead of underneath them. Every muscle in her body is cold and sore. They feel even stiffer than the day before. After a lot of effort, Sakura manages to flip herself on her side. But as the girl tries to break free out of her ropes, using chakra, she shockingly finds herself unable to. Her green eyes widen and her breath hitches. _When did they...?_

She instantly remembers that the sharkman's sword, Samehada she recalls, can suck chakra out of one's body. The girl realizes he must have drained her when he tied her up last night. Sakura struggles again against the tight ropes, but she can't break free without her chakra. She keeps struggling until her wrists start to burn and until exhaustion makes her unable to continue. She pants and gritts her teeth.

''FUCK!'' Even her throat feels sore of all the screaming last night. At least... she thought it had been night. Frustration takes over her mind as she bites her lower lip hard. And that's when the door opens, revealing the one and only Uchiha Itachi. The sudden large amount of light stings her eyes, as the cloakless man slowly walks towards the bed, leaving the door open behind him. He stops at her bed and kneels, getting at eye level with her.

''Did you sleep well?'' he asks her with soft voice, his eyes penetrating hers. But the girl only looks at him angrily and refuses speak to her capturer. He observes her carefully. She knew he wasn't interested in knowing if she'd slept well. He was only mocking her, making fun of her. He was being polite and showing her his control over her at the same time by asking that stupid question. Oh, how she hated him now.

After receiving no answer, Itachi slowly brings his hand up and wipes some pink strands out of her face. He puts them behind her ears and looks at her again. She only bites her lip harder and never breaks the eye contact.

''I take it you'll do as we say from now on?'' he stands again, his red eyes never leaving hers. Sakura decides not to hinder them at this point, so she slowly nods. Cooperation seems the best option for her now, at least until she finds a way to escape. When did she start caring for that? When did she actually decide that she wanted to live? No, she didn't know what to do. A part of her didn't find it necesarry to return to her village. That village where no one was missing her. But where else could she go?

She watches the Uchiha carefully, feeling a bit threatened when he pulls a knife from behind his back. In one motion, too quick for her eyes to follow, he cuts her ropes loose. His speed scares Sakura. He unwraps her wrists, but lets her unwrap her legs herself. As Sakura sits up and removes the ropes from her legs, Itachi grabs his cloak from the bed. She looks at it and finds herself unable to remember when she pulled it off.

Black cloak folded over one arm, he motions her with his free one to follow. And so she stands on her shaky legs and cautiously starts following him. He takes her through the hallway and down the stairs, which she'd already seen when Kisame brought her to the room yesterday.

But she hadn't seen the rest of the house yet. Still following the Akatsuki member, the girl curiously looks around as he takes her into the living room. It's a small room with two old-looking black leather couches, a fireplace and a coffee table, which looks wobbly and ragged. Sakura looks through the dirty window. She figures it's somewhere around noon judging the sun's position. Itachi then walks into another room and she quickly follows. He leads her into the kitchen, where Hoshigaki Kisame is sitting at a dining table. The kitchen too is very small, there is a large window and an exit. A door leading to the woods surrounding them. The blue skinned man looks at the small medic, as always a large grin plays his bluish lips.

''So, the girl isn't dead yet?'' he takes a bite of his slice of bread. Sakura's eyes widen and she glares in his direction. An angry look finds it way to her face. What does he know about it? What does he know about HER?! But as she opens her mouth to respond, the man behind her pushes her roughly into a chair. Her knee bumps the table's leg hard. This seems to amuse Kisame.

''Kunoichi, you'll keep your mouth shut, unless we grant you permission to speak.'' he speaks softly, mouth near her ear, his hands firmly holding her shoulders. Her eyes narrow as she watches Kisame across of her laugh at her. But she restrains herself and nods, releasing the breath she didn't know she was holding.

_Can't lose my cool._

''Help yourself, kunoichi.'' Kisame speaks with that raspy voice of his, gesturing at the food on the table. Itachi leaves the kitchen as Sakura slowly reaches out for the bread. She only dared because she saw Kisame eating it too.

''What time is it?'' she pours in some juice. The man across of her rubs his hands warm, even though he is wearing his cloak. He only briefly looks at her and then stands.

''Half past one.'' she watches him leave the kitchen as she takes a sip from her juice. She then hears him talk to Itachi. She pricks up her ears.

''Can't you turn up the heat a bit?''

''No, that would be inconvenient.''

''This damn coldness is inconvenient I tell you.'' Sakura agrees with the shark as she can feel the coldness too well. Shivers run through her spine and goosebumps are all over her skin. Her clothes are dry, but wearing a skirt doesn't really make her feel warm.

''It'll be much more inconvenient if one of us has to go into the woods to look for firewood. We have a hostage with us here, remember?'' Itachi enters the kitchen, now wearing his cloak too. He leans against the doorframe, reading a scroll. After finishing her small meal, the girl shifts in her chair to look at the two Akatsuki-members. Both are now reading the scroll, Kisame standing behind Itachi, reading along over his shoulder. Suddenly Itachi closes it and puts it inside his cloak. ''I'll be back soon, Kisame.'' And then he leaves.

---

''What do you mean she is gone?!'' the Kyuubi container yells at the Godaime. The elder woman sighs deeply, feeling tired of explaining things all over again, tired of the boy sitting across of of her, but most of all... tired of the whole event, tired of worries.

''We don't know where she is, I send an Anbu-squad to investigate the case, but nothing relevant has come out yet.''

''B-but she didn't just vanish, did she? There must be SOMETHING!''

Tsunade rubs her temples, this whole problem had caused her head to ache, and the boy's screaming didn't make it any better.

''Of course she didn't vanish, Naruto. She's only been gone for a day now. I'm taking care of this, don't worry! We will find out what happened!'' she realizes that she is not only trying to reassure Naruto of it, but herself too. This case seems hopeless since there is nothing that can help them. No trails has been found yet, no note, no witness, nothing. Tsunade fears that it might stay that way, but she mustn't lose hope. The girl is only gone for a day, who knows might happen. Tsunade's golden eyes watch the boy in front of her.

''Naruto, I know that you've just returned, but is there anything that you've seen or heard, that might help us find her? Because... there might be a chance that she's done the same as Uchiha Sasuke. Perhaps she's decided to follow him, or worse...''

Naruto shakes his head. ''No, she hasn't gone after Sasuke, because we promised to look for him together. And she would NEVER betray the village.'' his looks angrily at the Hokage, but she only sighs again and places her hands on her face. She looks up when the boy starts talking again.

''There was something... strange going on with her when I was in the hospital for that wound. She visited me very brief, but she seemed annoyed and angry, or sad, I couldn't quite tell. Not a very warm welcome you'd say. And I don't know why... I wanted to visit her that evening, but I didn't know her address. So...''

The woman smiles at him warmly and gestures him to sit down. ''Alright, tell me more.''

---

That pink haired kunoichi is in the kitchen, standing in the door opening of the exit. She watches the trees as a cold breeze blows her face through the wide open door. Her skin feels numb of coldness. Itachi had left about an hour ago and the sharkman is probably upstairs in his room. She doesn't even know what room, she doesn't even know how many rooms there are or how many floors. The girl is determined to find out, but not right now. She needed some fresh air, but decided not to flee. She knew that she wouldn't get far. Kisame is probably alert to an attempt to escape. And since she doesn't have any chakra, her speed would be no match for his. The girl sits down in the door frame, she sighs and looks up to the sky. The dark grey clouds reflect her mood, joyless, triste. She leans her head against the dark wooden frame, shivering cause of that winter coldness. But she doesn't seek warmth anymore, she stopped doing that a long time ago. In the glass of the door she can see her reflection. A deadly pale girl is looking at her, a joyless expression on her face.

_I wish I were dead..._ _I'm useless. It's hopeless._

Sakura thinks back at Team seven's first high-ranked mission. With Haku and Zabuza. She remembers the boy's face, it showed happiness, but it also revealed scars made by events from the past. Made by memories... sadness, loneliness. He had told Naruto that he had realized that the worst feeling someone could have, was the feeling that you're not needed by anyone in this world. She can feel it so well now, understand it finally. She had felt alone for so long. She'd felt left behind, ignored, hated... unwanted.

Haku had been right about this, she knows that now. It hurts to think about his words, they mean something to her now. Oh, how she just wants to give up, just fall, give in. Oh, how she longs for release, relief, happiness. Oh, how she wishes that someone would notice her, speak to her, touch her. It's been so long since someone touched her, out of free will. She never fell in love again after Sasuke, she never wanted a relationship, she didn't feel suited for it. Everyone she ever loved had left her, her parents, Sasuke, Naruto... and even Kakashi. He broke contact with her when she had needed him most. If only she could be saved, if only someone cared to save her... She closes her eyes and scratches her nails over the wood. The girl deeply inhales the fresh air.

A raindrop wettens her nose and soon after that, more fall. She opens her eyes again.

_I want to feel._

The girl steps into the rain and walks over the grass, watching the dark, high trees surrounding the house. The grass is frozen and cracks underneath her black boots. Oh, how she now wishes for comfort, for happiness. The happiness, she knows that no one can give her. The happiness she knows she will never be able to feel. The girl is too far away for that. Too captured in her own thoughts, wrapped too tightly in the numbness. It would take little to make her fall, to make her give in. It would be so easy to do so, to just shut everything out completely, to stop feeling... To go completely insane. To stay in her own world, forever. But something in her doesn't want this, a part of her holds her back from going to where she can't return from.

She closes her eyes again, the rain is soaking her slowly. So cold, so terribly cold. She doesn't want to go insane.

Shivers, all over her body, but strangely she enjoys it. The rain, it becomes part of her as it tries so desperate to wash away her despair, to cleanse her. The rain becomes part of her, the rain becomes her tears, the ones she cannot cry. Loneliness squeezes her heart, she feels the pain. Somehow the rain is unwrapping her again. Just like the knife can. Somehow she feels slightly better.

She sobs. Tears or no tears, the rain makes it unable to see.

_Why? Why do I want to stay sane... why do I not want to give up?_

She spreads her arms. It starts raining harder, soaking her clothes completely, making it hard for her to move. How she wishes to pull them off, just to feel free. To forget everything, even her own name.

But she knows she can't. The feelings, the ones covered by numbness, they rest so heavy on her shoulders, she cannot bare them any longer. Inside the house, Kisame and Itachi had entered the kitchen and sat themselves down at the table. While having a conversation about Itachi's journey, they watch the girl, standing in the coldness, in the rain.

No words about her, they just watch her. What could have been said? They can see that this girl is sad, that something is wrong with this hostage. But what can they say? They don't care. She won't have to fake her smiles for them. They don't care who she is, they don't care for her, just for their goal. Strangely, that feels so good to her. The fact that she doesn't have to fake, that she doesn't have to wear a mask, relieves her.

Sakura drops on her knees, she'll probably catch a cold, but she doesn't care. She is so cold, but she doesn't mind. She looks up to the sky, the raindrops making it hard for her to look without blinking. Her gaze lowers to her hands, she watches them. She watches them through her curtain of pink, wet hair. She rubs her wet face with them and surrenders to the rain. It now starts raining even harder. Her arms drop, her eyes close. She reveals her face to the rain, to the sky. She gives them access to her, she opens up. Her face goes blanc, her mouth opens slightly. Sakura forgets everything, she forgets all memories; she lets go of all the anger and sadness in her heart; she forgets everything.

_Cold rain..._

No more sobs, no more unseen tears.

_Please, free me..._

It all stops. The urge...

Disappears. It's so quiet outside, only the sounds of raindrops, it calms her down completely. She feels... nothing. The sadness is gone. The anger has left. The loneliness has stopped bothering. The numbness has won the long fight. She has forgotten. Everything. But strangely, she hasn't gone insane.

There is nothing left, just Sakura. Her old dreams, which already were broken, have vanished. She stares into the distance. No more questions. She doesn't need to ask why anymore. The questions have stayed unanswered for too long. She has answered them herself. Given the answers herself. Everything is gone from her mind. She now only has herself, her own goals, her own dreams. Who is she? Who is this girl?

''I am Sakura, and I have a reason to live.''

_What reason?_

The inner question, which is the only question that needs an answer right now. What does she want? What does she need? What does she lack? What can make her feel better? What can give her influence? What can give her even the slightest... happiness?

_Power. I need... power. _

_---_

When you have a mission, a goal. When you have a purpose in your life. When you are willing to give up everything for that goal, to do anything for that. You have to kill everyone that is in your way, do everything possible to get yourself there. Make a pact with the devil, so that you can reach your goal. It doesn't matter how evil, how bad, how rotten you are, how you act, what you do. As long as you reach your goal. It doesn't matter if you help an enemy in order to get what you want. It doesn't matter if your name is Sakura, and you're from Konoha, and you're willing to help the biggest threat to your whole village. It doesn't matter if you join Akatsuki, do anything you want... as long as it helps you reach your goal. As long as it helps you to get:

_Power._

The girl stands and turns around. Her eyes, the ones that used to look empty and dull, are burning. She feels alive. She feels alive without having to feel pain. She remembers her name again, and knows what to do. She will give up anything, in order to get what she wants. The girl smiles, something she hasn't done in a very long time. It feels strange. But it's not her usual smile, an evil meaning is in it. The rain has stopped, the girl watches the duo in the kitchen through the large window. She speaks, her voice cold, yet mixed with something else she herself cannot describe.

''Itachi-san... How are your eyes doing?''

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**I love the rain. It helps me forget the things that I want to forget. I hope you liked that part.**

**I first didn't know what to make out of this story, but now I know what to do. I hope you'll still like it this way.**

**Also, the fact that she doesn't care anymore about her village, and that she is being selfish, sounds better to me, than just her being sad. I have one question which needs to be answered before I can write chapter 4.**

**Is there a female member in the Akatsuki? **

**Review please.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 is done. I see 28 reviews and I must say, I'm really happy about it.**

**Please keep reviewing, they make me happy. **

* * *

**Chapter 4**

She watched the two dangerous Akatsuki-members thinking about her question. Kisame was the first one to say something. But Sakura could not hear. ''Itachi-san?''

But Itachi didn't respond, he kept glaring at her through the window. She could feel it... His glare read her, trying to notice a hint, which could explain her meanings. Then suddenly he stands and slowly walks towards the door. He does not look at her anymore, but seems only interested in the trees around her, surrounding the house. He reaches out for the door. ''Kunoichi, come inside.''

She obeys. The rain suddenly stops as she walks towards the door. She is soaked, but strangely she does not feel cold anymore. He holds the door open for her as she slips past him, her wet arm brushing his cloak. He watches the smaller girl slip past him, observing her.

--

A few minutes later, Kisame, Itachi and Sakura are sitting at the dining table in the kitchen. Sakura's pink, wet strands are slightly curling. Kisame looks from the girl to his partner and back again, wondering what is going on. Itachi is the first to speak up.

''Explain.'' His manners seem to have disappeared.

The girl looks at her hands, folded in her lap. She is nervous. Very nervous. _What if... they don't need me in Akatsuki? What if Itachi's eyes are already healed?_

She looks up. ''My former sensei, Hatake Kakashi, told me a long time ago that the Sharingen causes a bad eyesight. He also told me that your eyesight was getting worse. I was wondering if your eyes had been healed already. If not...''

_This is it... after this I can't go back._

She swallows, thinking it all over for one last time. Then she says the words. ''I want to heal them for you.'' Kisame's eyes widen at hearing this, but Itachi's narrow.

''What do you ask in return?'' Silence. Silence fills the kitchen, eyes are penetrating hers. The fact that he just said that means... That his eyes aren't healed yet. Realization strikes her. The girl knows what to say next, but she does not want to rush things. She wants them to see how serious she is. Her heart is beating fast, her hands are slightly shaking. Then the words roll from her cold lips.

''I want to become part of Akatsuki... As your medic.''

''What?!'' Kisame exclaims. He hadn't expected that answer, but his partner of course had. Sakura ignores his reaction and now turns fully to Itachi, as if she only needed to convince him. That was probably true. ''I'm am trained by Hatake Kakashi the copy Ninja...''

''Itachi-san the girl has gone crazy!''

''Also...'' she continues with sharp tone. ''By Tsunade-hime in medical arts-''

''Cut the crap kunoichi!'' Kisame slams his fist on the wooden table.

''as her personal apprentice!'' She now shouts. ''You won't find a better medic than me!'' She breathes in deeply, satisfied about her words. Kisame's eyes are full of disbelieve and then he starts laughing with his raspy voice. But the other, the Uchiha, remains very quiet. Kisame looks at his partner, whom as ever doesn't give anything away.

''State your purpose.'' It was obvious that Itachi was leading this conversation, he would ask the questions, and she would have to answer them now. Her head turns a bit sidewards and momentarily she looks through the window. Her eyes fix on the trees and their leaves. If she concentrates hard enough, she is sure she can hear the wind rush through them.

''Because I find it no longer necesarry to return to my village. Because I want to start living for myself.'' She turns her head back again. ''In order to do so, I need power. Being in your organisation gives me a powerful position.''

Both Akatsuki-members are silent for a moment. Then Kisame asks the question Itachi was already thinking about and considering: ''How do we know that this isn't a trick? How do we know that you aren't trying to gain information?''

Sakura gives them an evil smile. ''You don't.''

''Those are strong words, kunoichi. Now hear mine...'' he pauses, as if giving the atmosphere time to darken. ''Anyone who wants to gain access to Akatsuki has to take a test first. You cannot pass the test unless you have the same purpose we did. Once you accept, there's no turning back.''

She waits a moment, fully taking in the information. Then she nods. ''I'll take the test.''

_We're traitors! _Inner-Sakura yells.

Kisame starts lauging again. ''You can't be serious. Why kunoichi? Didn't get enough oxigen in that room upstairs?''

Sakura smiles friendly at him, causing him to stop laughing. ''Didn't you hear anything I just said? You must be Akatsuki's dumbest member.''

--

Sakura is in her dark room. Itachi had given her some candles, but refused to transfer her into another room. She watches the small lights on the floor and then the effects they showed on the walls. How incredibly dangerous it had been to call Kisame dumb. She had offended him badly. Itachi had to order him to sit still.

_''Restrain yourself, Kisame.''_

She found it fascinating how much control the long haired man had over the sharkman. She found it hard to believe that there was another person leading Akatsuki. Itachi seemed very qualified for the job. She shivers underneath the filthy blanket. She had stripped herself and placed her clothes next to the candles, hoping that they would dry. She didn't know what they were going to do now. She didn't know if they had even taken her seriously. So the only thing she could do now was physical training, since Itachi also refused to allow her some chakra. She would start tomorrow after a good rest. There weren't many other things to do. She could walk through the house. Well, through the house meant from this room to the kitchen. She wasn't allowed to enter any other rooms or to leave the house. If she did... well Itachi didn't even had to finish his sentence. The girl sighs and rubs her nose. It still hurts from when Itachi pushes her against the door. Luckily it wasn't broken. She shifts and watches the ceiling.

_What's my role going to be like? Am I really going to become a medic of Akatsuki?_

She wanted to. But then again, what would happen when Naruto or some of her old friends ever saw her like that? Would she be able to stand the shame. Could she handle them? She would have to, that's for sure. She needed to become more... emotionless. Nobody should be able to read her, like Itachi did so easily. But how could she see to that? In order to do so she needed to stop crying, laughing, feeling nervous or ashamed. She needed to stop feeling completely.

_A kill shouldn't matter to me anymore._

She had to stop caring about her body, or what could happen to it. No fear for blood, no fear for that signal which told her she killed someone. No more wasting time in dressing nice. No more clumsy dresses or skirts which made it hard for her to make high kicks. No more barricades or bounderies. She needed to be free of all those stupid things like make-up or dresses that are formfitting. She should only wear things that are efficient. That forehead protector in her hair needs to be tied on her forehead. She had pulled it off now... but still.

Her eyes close as she works through a list in her mind of things she needed to do. Become emotionless, unreadable, merciless. She needed to become like Itachi, she realizes. Like a replica of him. He is everything she needs to be. He will be her example. He has incredible power, something she needs too. He is... strong. She sleeps.

--

''Kunoichi...''

The girl shifts underneath the think blanket and shivers, her pink hair dried and messy.

''Kunoichi...''

Kisame speaks louder and gives her a push. But the girl doesn't wake up. Instead she yawns sleepily.

''Oi brat, wake up!'' he yells, voice raspy as ever and he pulls the blanket off. With a shock she wakes.

''What, what?'' she rubs her eyes and sits up. The light coming from the open door stings her eyes. Kisame starts laughing. ''You shouldn't fall asleep with litten candles. It's dangerous.''

Sakura scoffs. _He think THAT'S dangerous?_ Her arms drop and she stretches her back, earning a stare from the Akatsuki. She follows his eyes, which seem to travel over her body.

''What are you looking at?'' her voice poisonous. ''Never seen a girl wearing only underwear?''

Kisame's eyes shoot up to her face. His eyes narrow. ''Don't get comfortable around me, Kunoichi. You might trigger things you'll regret.'' He turns around and exits the room. She shivers. What the hell is wrong with her? Why provoke him? Why seek the limit of his self control?

_Because it's fun... _Inner-Sakura answers.

''It won't be when he actually loses control.'' She whispers. And with that she gets up and dresses herself in her short, skirt and black shirt. After she pulls on her boots, she ties her red Haruno-sweater around her waist. She breaths in deeply and runs down the stairs, feeling actually excited to start with her new ''goal in life''. But a part of her suddenly tells her to be cautious. Who knows what they might be up to? She slows her pace and once she gets downstairs she finds an Itachi, sitting at the table in the kitchen. He is reading a scroll again. This time the scroll is much bigger and it's cover is scarlet instead of plain black. There's an empty plate and two white bowls in front of him.

Itachi's cloak is folded over the back of his chair. She momentarily stops to watch him. His back is straight, his legs neatly together and under his chair. His hair as always tied into a neat ponytail. His posture is what actually surprises her. Normally, with his cloak on, he looks tall and broad-shouldered. But with just wearing a tight half-fishnetshirt he looks very slender. Muscular yes, but slender. His arms and legs still look strong while being not as broad as Kisame's probably are. He almost looks delicate. Even his features. He has feminine eyes. If Sakura didn't know who he was, she might have find him attractive.

_Might have..._

''You may come in...'' he suddenly speaks, not even casting a glance at her. Her eyes widen and she mentally slaps herself. He must have noticed her watching him. How embarrasing... Her cheeks glow a bit. Without answering she enters the kitchen. Sakura slows down as she approaches the table.

''Morning...'' she mumbles and takes a seat opposite him. She can now see that the two bowls are filled with rice and vegetables.

''Goodmorning.'' he speaks softly, still not looking at her. Could he be that comfortable around her? Was she that weak that he didn't even have to look at her to make sure that she wouldn't kill him? What if she attacked him? Would he be able to overpower her, even when being in this state? In this state of reading and not looking at her and not paying attention to her? A part of her really wants to find out. But the other part fears the elder Uchiha. She can't resist.

She eyes him carefully, while her hand reaches out very slowly for a silver knife on the table. Careful to move her arm soundless and careful not to start breathing quicker. When her hand is only two inches away from the knife, Itachi's eyes shoot up. She stops. _So he IS paying attention._

She smiles friendly and withdraws her arm. He keeps glaring at her. Feeling satisfied about the fact that she probably got him wondering about what she was doing, she reaches out for one of the bowl. The girl knows that the man in front of her knows that she tested him just now. She splits her chopsticks and starts eating, not breaking eye contact. Suddenly the atmosphere changes into something Sakura cannot describe. Itachi looks at vegetables between the chopsticks and follows them up to her mouth. She opens her mouth. He cocks his head a bit to the left and watches her chew slowly. They watch each other. Sakura can't put her finger on why, but she is doing something to him. It's something she cannot describe in words. This feeling is... power?

The moment ends when Kisame enters the kitchen. Also cloakless, she notices. He looks indeed heavier and stronger than Itachi. But also a lot slower. Kisame sits down at the table and reaches out for the second white bowl. Itachi's eyes had left her and he now watches his partner.

''I send a bird.'' Kisame speaks quietly and then eats. While Sakura wonders what the shark is talking about, the Uchiha stands and leaves the kitchen with his cloak. Sakura decides not to ask. When she finishes her bowl, she gets herself more candles and heads to the dark room again. Her schedule says: lots of sit-ups and push-ups.

--

Two days passed and things didn't really change. Sakura still hadn't seen anything else of the house or their surroundings. Kisame drained her chakra every day. There wasn't much to do for her. Kisame and Itachi sometimes left the house for quite some time, but one of them always stayed. She had had one little encounter with Kisame again, because he was just plain bold to her and Itachi had been around. Of course she wouldn't dare to provoke him in the absence of Itachi. She also tried to gain information about their plans with her as a hostage. She'd asked question like: If her village was looking for her, what kind of note they'd left and what they were planning to do with Naruto. But they'd refused to answer such questions.

Today, Itachi entered her room during the midday, which was quite unusual for him. Sakura was in the middle of a serie sit-ups on the floor when the door opened. She looks in his direction, but continues. Sweat drips down her temples and back. The litten candles create a lot of heat. The girl could smell herself, since she hadn't showered in three days. Also working out like this, didn't help preventing it either. She smelled, at least she thought she did. The two Akatsuki probably didn't even notice. She closes her eyes in concentration. Her stomach muscles burn and it takes a lot of effort to keep the sit-ups going. Itachi watches her with interest as he walks around her. He sits himself down on the bed and remains quiet for a few moments. Sakura's pants are the only sounds that fill the room. Itachi momentairly looks at the discarded clothes on the bed and then at the girl in shorts and top. He then watches the candles and the empty waterbottle near the door. He takes in everything. Even the smell of the old bed they let her sleep in.

''Have your ''plans'' changed, kunoichi?'' he suddenly asks, eyes again fixed on her. Sakura casts a glance at him, but then looks at her pulled up knees.

''No, they haven't. And my name is Haruno Sakura. But you already knew that.'' she responds somewhat bold. And what Sakura expected to be a long discussion, turned out to be a very short conversation.

''Alright Haruno, I'll see you downstairs in an hour.'' And then he left. She stops her sit-ups and wipes the sweat of her upperlip. She slowly sits up and looks through the open door.

''What's next?'' she whispers and stands.

--

An hour later, the girl runs down the stairs, pulling her red sweater over her head.

''Kisame, have you packed our belongings?'' she hears Itachi say and halts on the stairs. Kisame and Itachi are sitting at the kitchen table. The shark nods. Sakura then enters the kitchen, but freezes in the doorframe. The duo's heads shoot in her direction, their eyes giving away nothing.

''Sit down, Kunoichi.'' Kisame orders. Sakura obeys.

''Kisame...'' Itachi warns softly as the girl sits down opposite them. Kisame grits his teeth. ''I mean... Sit, Haruno.''

Sakura nods briefly at him. She then observes Itachi carefully, knowing that he will speak next. She takes a deep breath.

''Haruno-san, we are being expected at our Headquarters in two days. In 15 minutes we will leave this place.'' Sakura swallows and nods, silently telling him to continue.

''Assuming that you still want to ''become Akatsuki's medic'', you will have to speak with our leader. We are going to take you there. This is all you need to know.''

Sakura frowns. Hearing that she will meet their leader definitely frightens and excites her, but the way he says this is as if he...

''Look into my eyes.'' She looks at him, but then squeezes her eyes shut. ''No!'' she yelps.

Kisame slams his fist on the table. ''Dammit Kuno-.. I mean Haruno, we're already late!''

Sakura looks at the shark. ''Why should I trust you with my body. You might as well kill me or dump me somewhere.''

''Either you look in his eyes, or I'll knock you out with my fist.'' he yells. This only angers Sakura more. She stands and clenches her fists. Kisame starts yelling at her.

''Try it!''

''You brat-''

''Haruno-san.'' It's amazing how he managed to silence both Sakura and Kisame by just saying one word, with soft voice. His tone was still normal. She briefly wondered how he could do that before looking at Itachi. Well, she avoided his eyes.

''You would do well, not to test the limits of my patients. You are not to find out about the location of our Headquarters, that's why we will take you there unconscious. You have no assurance that we will keep you safe once you go out. But that is one of the many dangers you'll have to encounter on your ''newly chosen path''.'' The sarcasm drips off his voice. He looks at her arrogantly, head tilted to the right.

Sakura feels angry about the way he mocks her, but doesn't dare to argue with him now. She still fears him, he is still the person that has absolute control over her in this current situation. She closes her eyes, as if turning her anger off. The girl sits down and bites her lowerlip. Her fists are still clenched. She doesn't like the idea of going unconscious one little bit. What if she'll never wake up again. Despite of her fear, she nods. ''Okay...''

The pinkhaired girl folds her hands in her lap. She looks left, into his eyes. He looks deeply into hers. She somewhat finds it very intimate. His hand moves to her cheek, holding her head in place. She fliches at the contact. First she doesn't notice anything strange. But then, the red of his eyes suddenly glows and grows bigger. She sees the three Tomoe in his irises spin fast. The girl is being pulled into the secrets of the copywheel.

''Kisame... catch her.'' she hears his smooth voice say. Then everything turns black. Her last thought was:

_What have I done?_

--

''The girl smells...'' a raspy voice reach the elder Uchiha's ears as he looks through the trees. He doesn't respond to his foolish partner. He steps over a fallen tree and momentarily halts, giving Kisame the chance to catch up.

''And she's heavy. I want a break'' He smacks Sakura's rear with his free hand. The unconscious girl is draped over his shoulder. Her arm hang lifeless along Kisame's legs.

''She's not. She's light compared to girls of her age. Now stop complaining.'' Itachi turns around again and takes the lead yet again.

The shark laughs and yells. ''That's right. I forgot you carried her too once.''

''Keep your voice down. It'll be troublesome if someone sees us here.''

--

When she opens her eyes, she doesn't see what she expected. All there is, is darkness. There is a hard floor beneath her, with little stones stinging into her back and legs. She had been sleeping without any dreams. Strange enough this sleep had tired her. In a flash she remembers how she exactly went to ''sleep''. She could hear his voice in her head.

_''Catch her...''_

Sakura clears her throat. The sound echos through the room she's in, making it seem to her imagination like a dark cave. She blinks, but it doesn't make any difference. There isn't a single thing to see. Sakura sits up for a bit and then takes notices of her tied hands. Her hands are tied in front of her. She tries to break free, but still without any chakra she finds herself unable. She shakes the hair out of her face.

_Is this the test already?_ _If that's the case..._

Sakura has to know where she is. She cannot see a single thing. She inhales deeply through her nose, but there is no smell. Also there is no sound to be heard. _Where the hell am I? A scent- and soundless place?_

It was then that she panicked a bit. She now tries to sense a presence. She scans the room the best she can. And then, she notices. Behind her! She stands and turns around quickly. It's very hard to sense, but it's definitely there. She blinks, trying to see something, but it's futile. She concentrates, and has to admit to herself that this is scary. She feels fear, because something is there and it doesn't make a sound and she can't see a single thing. Her breathing speeds up.

Then the big shock came to her... In a flash she loses her sense over the presence. The presence disappears. And that could mean two thing: It left, or worse... it moved. That decision was awfully soon made, when she heard a deep voice near her ear, whispering:

''So you sensed me?''

* * *

**This chapter was totally different that my previous one, there weren't many feelings in this. But I used this chapter so I could get Sakura closer to Akatsuki. I'm sorry if this was a little short, I promise the next will be longer and with more emotions.**

**Please give me 40 reviews!!**

**Hope you liked it.**

**If I made some grammar errors, please tell me...**

**REVIEW!!**


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm VERY sorry... You know I promised to update immediately... well when I described leader I was pretty satisfied about it... but then... I WATCHED THE SHIPPUUDEN... I tottaly got a different impression of him, so I had to change many things... really sorry sorry gomen gomen!!**

**But you see... I made an extra long chapter!  
DON'T BE MAD AT ME!!**

**Enjoy! (warning spoilers for those who don't read the manga!) **

* * *

**Chapter 5:**

Her breathing quickened even more, if that was possible. Something sharp, she guessed it was a kunai, was pressed on her throat. A silent hint which told her she should not move, or else...

_Stay calm, I need to stay calm._

She got control of her body, but she stiffened again when she felt that person's breath on her neck. 'So you wanted to join Akatsuki?'

She swallowed, that voice sent unpleasant chills down her spine. She felt so scared. Slowly she nodded, and replied with a shaky voice: 'Is this the test?'

The man, at least she thougth it was a man, chuckled. 'No, little girl, this isn't the test. The test you'll have to take will be much worser than this.' A throaty laugh escaped his mouth. She shivered again.

_Definitely a man, judging his voice..._

'Then... then why am I tied up in this dark place?'

The man laughed again. 'Dumb girl, this room isn't dark at all. You're still sleeping, that's one of my abilities, I can enter your dreams. This way I can see everything about you, since I'm inside your head.'

Then Sakura heard it, the laughing. But the man behind her wasn't laughing, someone inside her head was. She could not control it, her eyes widened in fear. The voice inside her head laughed insane, hysterically. It was the man's voice. It stopped. The man released it's grip on her. He became serious.

_How did he do that?!_

'I'm going to ask you some questions, if I even get the slightest impression that you are lying to me, I'll cut off a finger. I will continue this method until all your fingers are gone, then I'll start at your feet. Do you understand me?'

She swallowed hard and nodded, even though she thought he could not see. With that the interrogation started.

'What is your name?'

'Haruno Sakura.'

_Can he read my mind?_

'How old are you?'

'Seventeen.'

_No, nobody can read others' minds!_

'How long have you been a kunoichi?'

'I turned Genin when I was twelve.'

He chuckled again, was he making fun of her?

'Now... Why do you want to join Akatsuki?'

'To gain power.' her body started to tremble. Sakura felt so nervous, who was this man?

_It must be another member..._

'Do you have even the slightest intension of betraying us? And returning to your village?'

She stayed quiet. Somehow she did not dare to answer, she felt like such a traitor. _**Answer damn it!**_

'No, I don't.' her voice steady and strong.

'What use could you be to our organisation? Tell me something about your skills.'

&

Itachi walked past another dark-cloaked person. 'Tobi-san, do you know where Kisame-san and Zetsu-san are?'

Tobi stopped his quick pace and pointed towards the metal door to the dungeons. 'There. They are there, with that girl.'

&

'I'm a medic and a kunoichi.'

'Did you get educated as a real kunoichi?'

She didn't get that question instantely, but then Sakura sought the meaning behind those words, of course she was educated like one. But then she realised that he was asking: 'Are you educated in everything a kunoichi is usefull for.' Everything meant even the unpleasant things like seduction. And she did get educated like that.

'I did.'

The man chuckled, his voice ever low. 'Do you realize that you'll be the only female in Akatsuki, and that you will be surrounded by seven criminals?'

Why did he say such a thing? Was it necessary for him to scare her? No she needed to feel equal to this man. If he was a member and she wanted to become one to, they would be equals.

'I'm very aware of that.'

'Good, this should do for the moment. I am satisfied with your answers, but not with your abilities. But, we'll be able to teach you some more in the future. For now, goodbye Haruno Sakura.'

'W-wait who are you?'

'Just call me Leader-sama.'

For the umpteenth time her eyes widened. Immediately after that she felt an incredible pain in her head. Caused by leader, dispelling his jutsu. The man, covered in shadows stood and looked down on the sleeping girl. His head turned, he watched the three taller members looking at him. An evil smirk played his lips. 'She will wake up in three hours, do not move her yet, just keep her here, until she wakes.' Leader left the dungeon, and was soon followed by Zetsu, Kisame and Deidara.

&

Sakura's head hurted, she tried to open her eyes. Opening her eyes, breaking the sleep. It had been such a tiring sleep, it was as if she forgot how to dream and couldn't seem to find any rest. She forced her eyes open, all she could see was: darkness.

_Again..._

Slowly she sat up, strangely enough her head hurted ten times worse now. The small girl just sat and watched her surroundings. Her green eyes only met darkness, she couldn't see a thing. For a moment, that startled her, but she easily calmed down.

_They did not kill me yet... They didn't kill me... They didn't..._

What was she supposed to do now? Things weren't going the way she wanted to. They were treating her like a prisoner, though she wanted to be a member. Sakura also couldn't help but feel as a prisoner, she had to correct herself in that way of thinking. She was going to be equal to them, she was going to be their medic (at least she hoped). She needed to feel equal to them!

She pulled up her knees and rested her face in her hands. 'How did I get here? How did I get involded to this?' right now, she felt desperate. How was she supposed to move on? Of course, she decided for herself that she needed power and that joining Akatsuki seemed the best decision. But what if... what if this path she had chosen turned out to be the wrong one? What if this path did not lead to happiness?

_What should I do?_

_**Think!**_

Yes, she needed to think everything out. If she got accepted, they would certainly use her for missions, spying, healing and much more. She, of course, would have to take people's lives... maybe she had to kill shinobi of Konoha. Kill her ex-villagers, maybe even former friends. _Am I able to do that? Am I able to become a traitor?_

With that thought she suddenly stood. She pulled herself together. 'Fuck them..' she whispered, so softly only she could hear. 'Fuck them! They left me! I'll show them how strong I can become! I will show them my power.'

With that she made a promise to herself, one that from now one would last forever. Her fingertips touched the scars on her wrist. This would be the sign of her promise. Those scars would remind her of the promise she made to herself. The scars won't fade, ever. Neither will her promise!

The door opened, the hinges cracked loudly in a high sound. Disturbing to the ear. Sakura was startled for a moment, but recollected herself. Light fell into the room, and Sakura saw a silhouette. She narrowed her eyes, trying to see whom it was, but she failed. The person laughed.

'Look at that pathetic little girl. Kisame, look yeah!'

Sakura cautiously walked towards the door, slightly annoyed, but determined to ignore the 'sort of' insult. But the man blocked her way, she looked up, she could see the man's face now. Sakura almost gasped at how handsome the man was, long blonde hair in a ponytail, a blue eye, handsome features. She couldn't see his left eyes, because a lock hid it.

'Deidara, shut up and let the girl pass.' Deidara stepped aside, but not without a teasing smirk. She saw Kisame standing in the corridor.

'Kunoichi.', his raspy voice started, 'I was ordered to give you this cloak. Wear it and follow me.' he almost demanded her. Sakura accepted the cloak Kisame gave her and wore it. It was too large for her, but of course that didn't matter.

Kisame smirked. 'I think you'll get a smaller one tomorrow.' Deidara laughed too.

She looked behind her, where Deidara was leaning lazily on the wall, his arms crossed over his chest, still wearing that teasing smirk. 'MY cloak looks good on you.'

_His cloak?_

She wanted to roll her eyes, but decided that giving a polite nodd and mumbling 'Thank you' was a better choice. She followed Kisame, whom had already left the corridor. Once she caught up with the blue skinned man, she noticed how MANY rooms there were. Well, in fact they just walked through a very large corridor with many curves, the walls were almost covered with doors, all leading into another room. The walls were made of rough stone, very dark. Every now and then Sakura saw a wall that was completely covered with cobweb. She shivered in dismay.

Kisame noticed her staring as they continued to walk. He grinned.

'If you think there are many doors here, you should know that we're still only in the dungeon.'

'Ah...' she tilted her head slightly.

'You shouldn't just open any door you like, Kunoichi. You really wouldn't want to see what's inside some of them.'

_He's not being serious, is he? I mean... he's just scaring me, right?_

'Understood, I won't forget.'

He grinned again. 'Good.'

They left the dungeon through that heavy metal door. The whole dark and creepy atmosphere that terrorized everything there, suddenly changed enormously. The first rough dark grey walls turned into soft brown walls. They again stood in a corridor, enlightened by torches, which gave a warm effect and might have gave a cosy atmosphere. Might have... If this place wasn't Akatsuki's headquarters.

After many moments of just walking, still in the same corridor, Sakura still amazed by the amount of doors, Kisame suddenly stopped in front of a larger one. The door was a normal dark wooden door. The door was unique form the others cause of the red cload painted on the wood. Right before Kisame wanted to open the door, Sakura asked: 'Why do I have to wear a cloak?'

He looked down on her, a bit surprised. 'You village people have no feelings for alliance?'

When Sakura did not answer he continued: 'We are an important organisation, we wear the same cloaks, hats and even paint our nails black. Why? Because we have the same goal, our collours are red with black, that is why we paint our nails black. To show everybody that we are one, because that's what we are. We need to be, in order to reach our goal.'

Sakura could honestly say she was stunned, especially at hearing this from Kisame. She hadn't expect this thing ''alliance'' to be so important to a bunch of criminals. But the longer she thought about it, the more it made sense. Of course, they were part of the same group, they had the same goal. In order to respect each other they would wear the same, become like one.

They heard footsteps and saw Deidara approaching from around the corner. With that, Kisame opened the door. He and the blonde stepped inside, but when Sakura saw the open door, which revealed a huge chamber, she didn't follow. Sakura's breath quickened once again, her heart beat hard in her chest. She started sweating. Cold sweat and the cloak didn't help a single bit. This was it. All Akatsuki-members were in that room. This was an important part of her future. An important part of becoming an Akatsuki-member. Deidara stopped too and smirked broad. He motioned her to follow. Now she did.

She took in the chamber. A large wooden round table in the middle, which reminded her a bit of Arthur and camelot. (A/N sorry, it seemed so well fit for Akatsuki to have such table, just couldn't help myself!)

The walls were covered with bookshelves, the table was in the center of the room. The ceiling was very high, a large, beautiful decorated chandelier hang exactely above the table. Sakura noticed that each member was already present as Kisame and Deidara sat down somewhere. Sakura figured that there weren't any permanent places for the members so she just sat down in a chair between Kisame and Itachi. All eyes were fixed on her, which also made her feel nervous like hell. That probably also had to do with the fact that this room was filled with s-class criminals.

_What's the big deal? You'll be one too in a couple of weeks... _Her inner-self commented.

Her stomach hurted when thought about the fact that her name would we written in the bingobook too. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves... Of course every member noticed her doing so. Sakura heard a few chuckles, slowly she looked at each one.

Next to her: Kisame and Itachi. Next to Itachi, Deidara. He looked at her teasing, but she ignored it. Then she saw an unfamiliar face, the man had a femine face, a pale skin, blue hair and a flower in it. He had very dark eyes. Black, the blackest possible. A huge contrast with his skin. Those eyes looked at Sakura in a intensive way. (A/N okay I asked if there were any females in Akatsuki. I'll just pretend there aren't any. I'll just make something up about that unknown member)

Next to the blue-haired man sat Leader, like always hidden in the shadows. Sakura got the feeling that he was watching her every move. Next to leader were the members called: Zetsu and Tobi, she was interessted in Zetsu's appearance, but did not fail to notice Tobi's mask.

'Were all here.' Leader spoke. She remembered his voice, when he first talked to her, it seemed so threatening back then, now it just sounded emotionless, and slightly annoyed.

_There are only seven members... No replacements yet for Kakuzu and Hidan?_

(A/N yes again, sorry to interrupt. But I'm trying to keep my story ''up to date'' as much as possible, so Sasori, Hidan and Kakuzu are DEAD. Continue reading!!)

'Let's keep this meeting brief. The purpose of this meeting is Haruno Sakura. A seventeen years old medic and Kunoichi and a formor Ninja from Konohagakure. We can't deny that a medic is highly appreciated.'

Some of the members made confirming sounds. That somehow annoyed Leader. 'However, I'm not satisfied with her kunoichi-skills, but since her medical-skills are nearly as good as one of the sannins, I've decided she is allowed to take a test.' Sakura's eyes widened, and suddenly she noticed that there was a deadly silence in the chamber, she could feel eyes on her. She looked on her right and saw the sharingan staring down on her. Itachi's look piercing her green orbs, watching right through her. Something had changed.

When he had looked at her like that a few weeks ago, she would have immediately looked away, curled up into a ball and wished she would disappear from his death glare. But now she felt drawn to his eyes. She kept looking in them.

'Alright, pay attention.' Sakura's head shot back. Leader still spoe to everyone. 'You are all not going to like this, but we need to bring her ninjutsu and taijutsu skills up. Some of you are going ot help her with that. I won't accept any refuses. Also, if Haruno-san joins us, I will make new pairings.'

Deidara sighed happily and Tobi gave him a death glare, but the blonde didn't notice.

'Haruno-san, first you will be taught Aizuango-jutsu and Ankokutostoshi-jutsu. This will come very handy during missions. Then, because we all have our specialties you will be taught also: Ka-jutsu and suiton-jutsu.'

To be honest, Sakura knew a few Jutsu's... like Suiton-jutsu: the art of using the water as your weapon or escape route. But hell she didn't know what Ankokutostoshi-jutsu meant. They didn't taught her that at Academy.

_Then they must be secret._

(A/N don't worry, just scroll down for the meanings of the jutsu's. I found them at a site, pardon me if some of them aren't right. If I'm correct then most of them aren't mentioned in Naruto.)

She nodded, hating the fact she still could not see his face, maybe she never would.

'Good. Deidara-san, you'll be teaching her Ka-jutsu, Kisame-san: Suiton-justu and Itachi will have the honor to do all the other jutsu's.'

Deidara chuckled. 'Great, now she'll have to call me Deidara-sensei!' She heard Kisame sigh in annoyance.

_Bastard..._

'Keep your mouth shut and listen up for the new teams: Team 1: Kisame and ... (A/N the unknown member kay!), Team 2: Tobi and Zetsu and Team 3: Itachi, Deidara and Miss Haruno. I put Miss Haruno with you two because I think you'll be needing her medical-skills the most. That was it, leave now. Itachi-san, I'll give you instructions later. Everyone knows what to do now. However team 2, please come to me for a new mission.'

Each member stood and Sakura noticed Kisame walking towards the man with the pale face. She was a little shcoked to notice he was still staring at her, those eyes were so incredibly dark, she feared them. Almost as much as the sharingan.

_I'm already in a team? Team 3... But I didn't even take the test yet!_

Sakura's body still trembled a bit. On her left still stood the Uchiha. He looked down on her.

'Are you aware of the fact that you are shaking?' his voice muted and smooth like it always was. Sakura wanted to answer but didn't because someone tapped her shoulder. She turned around and was met with: Deidara.

'So we will be forming a team now... That's very interessting.'

The teasing smirk had disappeared, he looked at her very serious. Itachi's voice broke their staring. 'Deidara-san, I want to speak with you about our plans.' He turned to Sakura.

'The same goes for you, Sakura-san.'

She nodded and found it hard to act like everyone else did: relaxed, but still alert and above all; like this was the most normal thing in the whole world. To Sakura it still felt as if this was the forbidden area, but she knew that that would change. Very soon.

&

The next morning, Sakura woke up in her own new room. The meeting with Itachi and Deidara had gone well. They had talked about first teaching Sakura, then they would go to leader, because they also were ordered to do a few missions. She knew of three: twice collecting secret scrolls, and once an assassination. The pink-haired Akatsuki member stood and walked to her closet. Her room was very normal. She had a desk, bookshelve a bed and a closet. When she opened her closet, it surprised her a bit that the closet was filled with clothes; Akatsuki clothes.

After showering she looked at herself in the mirror. Her wet pink, shoulder-length her hung loosly on her shoulders. A black half fishnet shirt exposed her shoulders but turned into black cloth at safe distance from her breasts. Black pants, black sandals and legwarmers fitted her perfectly. Everything was in the right perfect size. She sat down on her bed next to her folded cloak. With her fingertips she touched the material. It wasn't soft, but it wasn't rough too. It felt smooth and a little bit stiff. She unfolded the cloak and suddenly saw a silvery falling. It fell on the ground under her bed.

Sakura dropped the cloak on her bed again and crawled half underneath her bed. She was very shocked when she saw what the silver ''thing'' really was.

A ring.

She fetched it and sat down on her soft bed again. She shoved on her right hand's ringfinger and looked at it. She admired it, it exactely fitted her finger. She liked way it looked on her.

A silver ring decoraded with a emerald green stone. Green like her eyes. A black kanji was carved into the stone.

It said: Health.

**Next chapter:**

Deidara and Itachi teach Sakura. She will develop her own jutsus like: **Koppojutsu** and **Koshijutsu**. Together they are team 3, and team three has their first mission. What happens when they meet orochimaru and Sasuke?

FIND OUT!

* * *

**Aizuangojutsu – handsignals, so that they can communicate in silence.**

**Ankokutostoshijutsu – The art of seeing in the dark.**

**Koppojutsu – The art of bone breaking/damaging.**

**Kajutsu -The art of explosives.**

**Koshijutsu – The art of nerve and soft tissue striking**

**Suitonjutsu - The art of water escaping. Like hiding under water.**

**Review please...**

**A beta-reader for this story is highly requested!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Enjoy it! I know this is stupid but, give me 60 reviews. I know asking this is kinda hard but I only got like freaking 8 reviews for the previous chapter. You guys are mean sobs and hopes it has to do with vacation**

**Onegai!**

* * *

**Chapter 6:**

_My mother always said I was different. Different from all others. Especially when I was young._

_She always said I had different interests, I never played along with the children of my age. I never wanted to, never had the urge to..._

_A two year-old Itachi walked, with stumbling every now and then, in the garden, where his mother was working on the red flowers. It was summer, far too warm to stay inside the Uchiha manson. Underneath his left arm he carried a little plushie, a white rabbit. The moment Itachi walked by, his mother stopped working to watch him. It was noon, already. The woman wiped some sweat away and looked at the flowers for a moment. Satisfied about her work she smiled. She heard the soft footsteps of her son and turned her head towards him again as the sun burned her face._

_O, how she loved to see him walk like this, unconscious of her watching him. With the rabbit tugged under his arm, as if he were never to lose it. His dark hair reflecting the sun. She sighed happily at seeing him, she felt proud. He was so special... _

_But he did not want to play with all the other younglings, no he preffered staying at home. She sat down comfortably in the grass, watching her little son as he approached the fury red and pink flowers._

_He never liked other children._

_But then again, he could always do things others couldn't. Things even she herself never did. A thing like he was doing now. The little child sat down in the grass too, and watched the flowers. Observing them so carefully, only being focused on the flowers. Focused on only them, as if there were nothing else in the world. _

_No, other children would have lost interest already, but Itachi could just sit there, with his little rabbit and just look, observe, watch. Maybe he was admiring them, she did not know, but he could sit there forever. He never did lose any interest, unlike other children. He was so completely focused on the flowers... Other children would lose interest and chase something else that interested them, until they found something new. But Itachi didn't... ever. Simple things like flowers could hold his interest forever. And watching him like this was the only thing she could do. A sad smile played her lips as she knew that he did not like interacting. A few years later she would realise that it started when he was young..._

--

Now, a more mature Itachi opens his eyes. He blinks slowly a few times, still and always noticing his bad eyesight, and really hating the weakness they create.

He sits up, no he hadn't slept. He rarely sleeps, but he often just closes his eyes and lets his mind wonder off. Often reliving old memories, mostly painful memories, but memories he refuses to call painful. But in truth, they are.

Itachi stands and grabs his neatly folded cloak from his chair. While pulling it on he proceeds to the hallway, out of his room. After closing the door, he makes his way to Leader-sama, while pressing the buttons shut. An important talk about a certain new member awaits him. A very important decision must be made, and he will see to it that Leader-sama will make the right choice.

--

While Itachi is having a meeting with Leader, Deidara has already started teaching his new medic. Well, it's not really teaching.

'Come along, yeah.'

The blonde walks in a quick pace, through the corridor. Pulling the pink haired member at her sleeve along. She runs after him, very annoyed by the fact that he is: 1. being bossy, 2. being a total jerk and 3. he requests, no scratch that, he demands that she calls him... (her eye twitches) Deidara-sensei.

'Deidara...sensei, where are we going?'

He looks back at her and grins. 'To the library, yeah.'

Her green eyes widen. What the hell were they going to do in the library? Didn't they agree last night, during their small meeting with Itachi, that they were going to teach her Koppojutsu (A/N see previous chapter for the meaning of koppojutsu and all the other jutsu's) and Koshijutsu?

Well that question was answered when they entered the chamber. For a moment, Sakura is startled at how big, how hugh, their library is. The library consists of hundreds of hugh dark wooden bookshelves, filled with millions of old books.

'Why are we here?' she asks absent minded, looking around, her voice being echoed through the whole chamber. That question was answered when Deidara(sensei) threw two heavy books at her, which she almost didn't catch.

The girl looks at the titles and simply reads: Koppojutsu and Koshijutsu. Sakura looks up at her young sensei, whom stands in front of her with his arms crossed over his chest, smirking.

For a second Sakura's mouth just opens, ready to ask Deidara what she is going to do with those books, but then she realises.

'Deidara-sensei, am I supposed to learn two completly new jutsu's just out of a book?'

His smirk broadens. 'Yeah. Isn't that obvious since Itachi-san and I clearly don't know a thing about those jutsu's?'

She mentally slaps her forehead, how stupid. Did she really think Deidara was going to teach her the art of bone breaking? Had she really expect him to teach her something a medic should be able doing better than him? Yes, she had, but now she knew the answer was NO!

'Thank you Deidara... sensei, I think I'll be heading to my room now, to study.' Oh, how she wanted to yell at him that it was too hard to learn two completely new jutsu's just out of a book.

She leaves the library kind of disappointed, with the blonde following her.

--

'It's settled then.' Leader-sama's deep voice speaks. Itachi affirms Leaders statement politely and bows.

'Permission to advice you in the matter of the test?'

'Go ahead.'

Itachi straightens his back and looks up, Sharingan meeting Leaders eyes. The Uchiha thinks carefully for a moment before speaking his thoughts. 'I think it's good for her to make her kill something innocent.'

Leader tilts his head. 'You mean...'

'Yes, killing something so innocent, so pure, will make her lose her own innocence.'

Leader's eyes closes, the fingertips of his right hand, pressed on the fingertips of his left. A smirk plays his lips.

'I agree.'

--

'How's your study going, yeah?' the blonde asks her while she in sitting at her desk, and Deidara is lounging on her bed.

'Not so good.' she replies annoyed, 'Since I'm only reading for an hour. You can NOT expect me to learn everything from ust a book in ONE hour!' She sends him an angry glare, he just smiles back at her playfully. Revealing her his shiny white teeth.

With a loud sound she closes the book. She sighs deeply.

'What's with the ''yeah'' anyway... Are you addicted to the word or something?' she raises her brow while watching him lying on her bed like it's HIS!

He give her a ''tsk'' and looks at her. 'It's no addiction, yeah. It's HABIT!' he says arrogantly.

That really does it for her, you know... Acting all arrogantly, lying on HER damn bed!

'Well it's annoying! Mostly because the way you just ''add'' it to your sentence, it doen't even have a meaning. You just add it, it's useless!'

She stands in front of the bed, looking down on the cloakless blonde, tapping with her foot. With a quick move, he sits up and brings his face close to hers.

'Sakura... you think my ''yeah'' is useless when I just add it, yeah?' he speaks quietly. Sakura is feeling slightly comfortable of him being so close to her, but refuses to step back. He is obviously intimidating her, just like he did many times before. _Sooo annoying._

'Well, how about when I say it like this...' he pauses, looking intently into her eyes. His face moves even closer, but he lets their cheeks brush. And then, not completely out of nothing, he whispers, very low, almost huskily into her ear, the small word: 'Yeah...'

Shivers run through her spine as his breath tickles her skin. He retreats a bit again, faces still close. His slim hand has moved to her slender shoulder. He looks into her green eyes again and this time she almost gasps at seeing his blue eyes. Her hands tremble when she realises how much, how truly much... Deidara's blue eyes resemble Naruto's. Especially now, seeing them so close.

The tense atmosphere is broken when the door suddenly opens, revealing Itachi. As he stands there in the doorframe, he quietly speaks.

'Sakura-san, are you done with... whatever you were doing with Deidara-san?' His voice smooth and muted as ever. Only then, Sakura notices the hand on her shoulder. She feels somewhat ashamed as an almost invisible blush reaches her cheeks.

'Deidara was just...--'

'What happened to the... ''Deidara-sensei''?' he cuts her off, again grinning at her. She turns to the blond again, seeing that he has already expand their distance. She sighs annoyed loudly and gritts her teeth.

'Why must I call you sensei, when you are not even TEACHING me anything! You are just giving me this book and...--'

She was never able to finish her sentence.

--

'Your test is decided.'

Sakura looks up to Leader in a kneeled position. Itachi is standing straight next to her. The man, Akatsuki's Leader, is sitting comfortable in a chair, but covered up in shadows, giving her an feeling of him she can't quiet explain. Prehaps dismal, yeah that's the word. Also scary, yes. But he is the leader of Akatsuki, that's already something to be scared of, right?

She can only see his judgemental eyes. They critisize her silently. Itachi had dragged her along to Leader-sama, while she tried lecturing Deidara. While pulling her along he explained her very vaguely with very few words what this ''meeting'' was about. And she just found out.

_I wonder what it'll be..._

'In order to secure your entrance into Akatsuki, as our member and medic...' he continues.

_What..._

'You will have to...' his voice getting slightly softer and even deeper.

_Will it be?_

He pauses, sending a last look at Itachi before telling. Sakura feels her heartbeat speeding up, she swallows, feeling the nerves in her stomach.

'You will have to kill a child, named: Sarutobi Konohamaru.'

A pair of green eyes widen, she loudly gasps for more air as her jaw drops.

'He's a current genin in Konoha, grandson of the third Hokage, age of 11, his special abilities... '

Sakura already stops listening to him, like she is going deaf. She squeezes her eyes shut in horror and closes her mouth again. What a twist of fate, what bad luck. Of course her reaction doesn't go unnoticed by Itachi's and Leader-sama's eyes. Leader chuckles, the same way he did when he interrogated her for the first time. Deep and dark. Almost mocking her.

'Do you know him?'

Sakura's eyes remain closed, she swallows hard, while slowly nodding. She feels like crying. The girl already knows that she cannot do this. She just can't. A chuckle escape Itachi's lips. 'That's even better..., Leader-sama.'

_I can't do this..._

Leader speaks something to Itachi, something she doesn't catch. Lost in thought, she can't imagine herself killing Konohamaru... He's Naruto's friend. She feels numb. Numbness fills her. And the urge follows again. She wants to sobb she wants to release herself, but she can't hear anything anymore, just her own quick heartbeat. She wants to cry, to cut. Like any other time when something bad happened. She wants to release herself, express this incredible pain in her heart, the pain that won't come out in tears, the emotional pain that she can only release in physical pain.

'Sakura!'

Leaders cold and hard voice breaks her trance. Like cutting it away from her, a knife stabbing into ice. Splitting it, pulling her out of her thoughts, back to reality. Back to a horrible decision.

'I apologize, what were you saying?' She looks into Leaders eyes again, when he speaks to her.

'Do you think that you are fitted to do this job?'

_I'm not... _She looks away.

'Sakura, do you accept this test?'

Her head drops while her mood darkens, her eyes harden. She will have to tell them that... she declines. But that's suicide... Declining means being killed, for sure.

_**You know you can't do this.**_

Sakura slowly stands, stretching the muscles in her legs. She can feel Itachi's eyes on her, they are watching her every move, observing her. She stands slowly, her eyes filled with the intention of telling them that she will not accept this test.

_I won't do this... I refuse._

His red eyes are trying so hard... trying so hard to find something, she can feel it. His red eyes with the black wheels, searching anything. The black copywheel is spinning dangerously, it's attention fully focused on her. She can almost feel it's concentration burning into her skin. Her gaze is fixed on leaders eyes. He looks at her, expecting an answer, right now!

_**I refuse, **__I refuse..._

Her heart beats almost painfully hard and fast in her small chest. It hurts...

'I accept.'

And then, silence fills the dark chamber.

_--_

_I broke inside, I crossed my own will._

_I broke it. _

_I gave up love, I gave up friends,_

_I gave up morality, I gave up myself..._

_In order to do this..._

_To save myself from... becoming NOTHING._

_--_

She can almost hear herself cry on the inside, but she remains serious on the outside.

'Good,' and indeed, Sakura can hear the satisfaction in Leader's voice.

'The test will not take place anytime soon, expect it to be in two months though. We are short on members and there are mission that need to be done, after that, you will take it.' his voice lost it's dark and threatening tone. Now it sounds satisfied and business-like. The dark atmosphere has disappeared.

She only vaguely understands the words he says and almost automatically nods and turns around.

The girl looks sidewards at Itachi, trying to see what he will do now. He bows too, when she passes him.

And when she passes him, she does not let the Uchiha hear her breaking inside. She does not let him see the unseen tears that were slowly traveling down deep inside. She does not let him see through her. She cannot afford to do so anymore.

A part of her dies now slowly, and it hurts like hell. How can one explain this? Like an inner-wound, blood pourring furiously out of that wound. The pain wants to make her cry and scream. However... she remains quiet.

Another part of her wants this. That part knows this is for the best. She feels satisfied and lost at the same time. Like she is being pulled to two opposite sides. A dark and dangerous creature growling loudly while glaring with it's narrowed, green and glowing eyes... full of life, always ready to kill, always ready to spill blood, always ready to feel pain... A creature like that versus a small fragile and pale girl. A crying girl with dull green eyes, naked and stabbed a million times in her weak body. But that wounded side of her keeps pulling at Sakura, never intending to let go, just like that horrible creature. That fight of pulling at Sakura will never end. She will be splitted...

When Itachi closes the door behind him, she turns around and bows at him. An automatical politeness. Maybe it's foolish for her to bow, since all the other members act quiet rude and bold to eachother. But she refuses to become like that.

Itachi keeps looking at her. In the way he always does, his gaze far less intense than it was minutes before, though. But he never trusts her.

'Where are you heading?'

Sakura thinks about whether or not to tell him what she is going to do. Because she was planning on ''fulfilling her urge''. He will not like that answer. He will not like her telling that. So she decides not to.

While answering, her eyes lower to her feet. 'To my room, I need some rest.'

His red eyes narrow, and when she dares to look up, the girl already knows... that he is far too smart, too foreign compared her. She can feel the obvious gap between their strengths and experience.

'You're Akatsuki's medic now, and since you're in Deidara and my team, you belong to us.'

Sakura remains quiet. What is he trying to say?

'You will be our so called ''property''. And I will not allow anyone, to violate my property. Have I made myself understood, Sakura-san?'

He did not receive an answer, because her green eyes could only stare at him. She knows exactly what he means, god she wants to yell at him, punch him, hurt him. Because what he said, hurts her. It hurts, hearing him talk about her in that way. Like she indeed is his property.

Sakura noticed already that Itachi is very cryptical. He always gave her answers that meant more than he really said. Like now... he was telling her, that if she wants to be their medic, she would have to stop ''violating'' her body.

He caught her and they both knew it. Now she knew... that lying to Itachi did not work in the least. Her face turns a bit stoic.

'I understand.'

Sakura walks away from him. Suddenly she realises that though she has been with him and Kisame for almost two weeks (in the small house in the forest) and almost five days more in Akatsuki Headquarters... almost twenty days, she has been around him, around Itachi, but still she does not know a single thing about him. And it scares her, that he knows already far much more about her.

She needs to change that... as soon as possible. The feminine Akatsuki member stops in her tracks, when Itachi calls for her. She turns around.

'Hai?'

'Tomorrow, you and I will pay a visit... to an old friend of Akatsuki. He has a scroll that we need to obtain. We have a bargain settled.'

_An old friend of Akatsuki? _She wonders. Somehow that friend doesn't seem a real friend to her, judging the way Itachi speaks of him.

'I'll come to your room at seven. Be ready.'

He turns around, walking away, not even waiting for a response. She guesses that he doesn't care about what she wants anyway. Itachi hears the girl walk away again, expanding the distance between them. A dark smirk plays his lips when he thinks:

_I wonder if she knows... that tomorrow we will be visiting Orochimaru._

_--_

Next chapter:

Sakura and Itachi go and fetch the scroll Orochimaru has, and when Sasuke sees Sakura has joined Akatsuki and is together with his brother... his rage takes over.

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**I hope you liked it. I'll try writing AS FAST AS POSSIBLE, because friday night, I'm going to CHINAAAAA for three weeks.**

**Prehaps I'll give you all a present: something like... updating all my stories right before I leave! **

**Okay REVIEW!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Here it is! Enjoy my little fans (I hope you are .) **

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**Chapter 7:**

_''Just stop it Itachi!''_

_The small dark haired boy walks through the streets, on his socks, tiny shoes clutched in his small hands. His even darker eyes are closed, a concentrated look on his face. His breath is soft, even softer than a whisper, a hush. Not even a sigh. __The early sun burns his face, but the stubborn boy ignores it. The young Itachi has grown a lot, yes also physically but mostly mentally. The boy keeps walking with his eyes closed, closed to all the danger on the streets. Danger like the crowd in the streets, the rushing people. __Suddenly a woman holds his shoulders firmly from behind. Similar feminine features, similar dark hair, only hers longer. _

_''Itachi!'' she yells, ''Don't walk with your eyes closed, what if you get an accident?! Why did you take your shoes off, huh?'' she asks her almost seven year-old son worriedly. __The boy frowns, feeling irritated, but then, a small smile plays his lips as his genius brains figures things out, strange things._

_''You can't hear me when my shoes are off.. Just seconds ago, you didn't even know where I was. Did that worry you?''_

_His mother frowns and sighs impatiently. Oh, how this annoyed her. Was he playing a game? He always played games like this, trying to manipulate her. He was taught manipulating at the acadamy, so that children of his age could use it against their enemy when they were older. Now he used it against her. Was she his enemy? _

_''Itachi...'' she starts slowly, but he cuts her off._

_''If I walk quietly and make sure no one can hear me, acting like I'm not really there. With my eyes closed... you won't know I'm here right? Since you don't know where I am, you forget me, right?'' Itachi looked the woman deep in her eyes. Observing her eyes, her expression, analysing every movement or expression she shows. __His mother's eyes widen, she did not understand how and WHY he could think such things. She knew her son was different than others, she knew perfectly well that his way of thinking was so different. She knew that alright. But this... scared her. Especially the way he was watching her now. He wasn't watching her in order to wait for an answer... no. He never looked at her like she was his mother, his family. No, he was observing her, her reaction, her every movement, with those powerful eyes of his. Those eyes had already developed the Sharingan. And the moment since he developed the crimson eyes, the look in his own black eyes changed too. A closed look, sometimes so intense, and always observing everything. Ever since he got those eyes, she never got to talk to him personally, he always acted so introvert. He had become a prodigy. But did he have to be like this to HER, his own mother? __His mother's eyes now narrow in anger. With quick movement she snatches the shoes out of his grip and puts them forcefully back on. The boy blinks a few times, but remains quiet._

_''Don't walk with your eyes closed anymore... Okay?'' Her hands cup his face firmly, forcefully._

_''Just stop it, Itachi!''_

_The boy could only watch her, with big eyes. He did not respond, but the different look in his eyes told him that she got through his barrier. She stares deeply into her little son's eyes._

_''Why can't you... just'' She whispers, but doesn't say anything more. She stands, knowing that this reaction she got out of him, would be the last one she ever saw. She knows that she could never reach him again like this. His eyes would never again look at her like this, open. __With small and slow steps, she begins to walk away. The distance between mother and son grows. Her eyes are closed, disappointment fills her heart, as does sadness. The words she wanted to whisper are hunting her. _

_'Why can't you just be normal?'_

* * *

Cold air rushes through her hair and slightly numbs her face. Even though she is wearing the warm and long cloak, she feels terribly cold. Her fingers and are frozen just like her nose. Sakura's green eyes are halflidded as she jumps from branch to branch, watching her senpai's, a.k.a. Itachi's back. Their pace is relaxed, not hurried in the least and that's exactely what makes her eyes close in tiredness everytime. She shakes her head and blinks a few times, too stubborn to give into sleep. She hadn't slept all night, the girl kept thinking about her test. Killing Konohameru, the boy she had treated so many times in the hospital when that damn cat scratched his face again. And then, when she finally fell asleep she had dreamed... very scary. She dreamed of killing that boy, she dreamed of blood. Of course when she woke up from her nightmare, she couldn't sleep at all. Well, ever since she arrived at Akatsuki's headquarters, she hadn't been able to sleep well. Perhaps she was still too scared. She couldn't quiet let the guilt and fear go. She never felt safe, always worried that they would kill her in her sleep. That was a possibility for them to get rid of her. But maybe her fear was for the best. Maybe being an S-class criminal meant staying alert always. She shouldn't feel safe.

Her eyes close slowly again, lost in her deep thoughts, and this time her head drops. It's not her fault, she kept telling herself earlier. It's Itachi's fault. It's too damn early, the sun's barely rising and it's damn cold so she is feeling numb and all, that certainly doesn't help keeping her awake. But now even that thought leaves her mind. Sleeps slowly takes over. And while her feet keep pushing her further automatically, from branch to branch, she sleeps very lightly. Then she feels it... Incredible headache. Something hard bumps her head and she is roughly being pulled out of her sleeping state. She opens her eyes. _Shit..._

She had just bumped against a black wall. She halts and rests her head against the wall, she finds out the wall is warm and kinda soft. Then a few things happen. She quickly opens her eyes and leans back, when she realizes that it's Itachi's back she is leaning on. He had obviously landed on the branch. Sakura was standing closely behind him, too close.

''S-sorry...'' she stutters and quickly straightens her back. _Shitshitshit!!_ She feels so stupid!

Then Sakura quickly takes three stept away from Itachi, whom hadn't even looked behind him. But the branch isn't that broad. With her left foot she steps off the branch and she loses her balance.

''Shit!'' Sakura gulps as she falls off. And then Itachi turns around and roughly catches her wrist, balancing her again. Her eyes are still wide, she sighs in relief. But he does not let go. His eyes are narrowed, which probably means that he is angry.

''Sakura-san.'' his cold voice speaks hard to her. Her head shoots up, looking surprised into his eyes. She shakes her head a few times. Her heart is beating fast. Itachi's other hand shoots up to her chin and holds her head in place. He holds it firmly, slightly less forceful than her wrist, but still forcing her to look at him.

''Sakura-san, can you keep yourself awake or do you need me to help you?'' his dark brow lifts, as his cold eyes keep staring at her. When she doesn't respond he continues: ''They say a punch in the face works best.''

Her eyes widen and immediately all her sleepiness disappears. ''I-I can manage myself.'' she speaks quietly, their gazes still locked on each other. He slowly releases both her chin and wrist and takes a step backwards. Then he turns around to watch their surroundings.  
Sakura sighs relieved, her heart beating even faster. She can't believe that Uchiha! How can he treat his teammate just like that!

''Is that your way of treating your teammates, Itachi-san? Giving them a punch in the face?!'' her threatening quiet voice reaches his ears. He turns halfly and looks at her sidewards, from his eyecorner.

''No it's not... But I got you awake, didn't I?'' and then Sakura's heart skips a few beats. Other than the fact that his method actually worked, Uchiha Itachi smirks at her. And that's what is causing her to be shocked. His eyes, his mouth, the lines in his face when he is smiling. His wrinkles...

''S-Sasuke...'' she breaths. Luckily Itachi doesn't hear her. He has already turned around again to watch their surroundings. So much like Sasuke. Even the way he stood, halfly turned to her, as if she only deserved half of his attention. Sasuke did it too, always. She damned the Uchiha's arrogance. The image of Itachi smirking at her, keeps coming into her mind. Not that emotionless and cold face he always shows her, no. But him smirking. That made him quiet handsome. She just saw every line of his face. A small dimple in his left cheek and also a wrinkle a bit closer to his mouth. And then his lips, both broadened.

His voice startles her and only then she realizes that she has been staring at Itachi. She blinks quickly.

''Sakura-san, we're taking a small break and then head further. We're early.'' She nods affirmative and takes a seat on the branch. During their ten minute break, they have a few small conversations. All meaningless, but somehow useful.

''So, when did you enter Akatsuki?'' she asks him, wanting to add: ''Was is before or after you killed you clan?'' but decides that saying something like that, wouldn't be wise thing to do. She found out a few thing about Itachi: he didn't like anyone and trusted nobody. Even starting conversations with him were hard, but the best way to even interact with him at all, was to be polite. Bold quiestions like that were out of the question. Sakura had noticed that even all the members of Akatsuki acted strangely polite around him.

''Right after I killed my clan. It was my test to enter Akatsuki.'' He simply answers as if he can read her mind. _Can he?_ She thinks. The Uchiha looks at a kunai in his hand. He is busy sharpening it. Inwardly she wonders is he really could read her mind with that Sharingan. Sakura watches him work on his tool for a few moments and notices that his hands work very machine-like. Very straight movements, very quick, unhuman-like.

''You copied it.'' she points at his hands. His eyes shoot up at her and he doesn't immediately answer, but just watches her sharply. His red eyes piercing hers.

''I did.'' he turns back to his handwork again. Somehow Sakura feels satisfied and the thinks that she might have impressed him with that remark. Might have...

''So, obviously your test was alot harder than mine, right?'' She reaches with her hand into her pouch and pulls some of her medic-supplies out. She counts them.

''Obviously...'' he responds softly. Then they both continue working on their tools or supplies in silence. Five minutes later Sakura and Itachi stand, looking at each other.

''We are heading now to the place where we agreed to meet. From now on, absolute silence. I take it you know handsignals?'' Sakura nods and Itachi gestures her to follow. The journey of silence begins.

--

A dark chamber, no candles, no light... There's an awful smell in the air, a warm smell, the smell of rotten bodies.

''Kabuto, when you finish your job, accompany me on my way to Sasuke-kun.'' The long haired man walks away from the smelling chamber after the grey haired one confirms he heard him. Kabuto starts pulling of his stained plastic gloves. Orochimaru walks through the corridor, on his way to another chamber, a less dark one but with a more dangerous creature there. A creature that longs for revenge more, every day. Perhaps today it will find it's release... But the snake is not planning on giving up the Sharingan. He opens Sasuke's door and takes a step in his room, Kabuto approaches him from behind.

''Come...'' Orochimaru's voice hisses.

''Where are we going?'' the youngest Uchiha demands. Kabuto sighs at his boldness and leans against the corridor's wall. Won't he ever learn? The snake-nin however smiles and his long tongue licks his lips. ''We have an appointment with Uchiha Itachi.''

That got Sasuke's attention. The glowing Sharingan narrows and fixes on his masters eyes. They look at him angrily.

''We possess a scroll Akatsuki has interest in. So we're trading it for a scroll of theirs.'' The Uchiha frowns, and stands. Orochimaru lets out a throaty laugh. ''At least that's what they're thinking. This might be your chance Sasuke-kun.'' the snake keeps laughing.

''Shut up... I won't be needing you after this, so you'd better be praying that he isn't there, or else...'' Immediately he stops laughing and watches the Uchiha furiously. He turns around and gestures Sasuke to follow him.

''Of course, Sasuke-kun.'' he responds calmly.

_Brat, you've got it all wrong..._

--

The sun is slowly rising, the sky has turned slightly orange and pink. Sakura is hidden behind a few branches and it's leafs. With a lot of gestures and handsigns, Itachi had explained her to hide well and to cover him. He explained her too that there might be an attack, and unless he gave a sign, she was to stay hidden. They arranged some signs. And here she is, Her dark cloak pulled off and left behind, because it would be annoying fighting in it. She used a camouflage-jutsu to make herself invisible, and supressed her chakra the best she could. She sits in a catlike position, hunched up behind the branches, her hand near her weapon pouch. Sakura is motionless, of course after her mistakes she made earlier, she feels determined to succeed in this. Luckily this is something she is good at. Motionless, hidden, observing... What could possibly go wrong? Itachi stands in the middle of the small clearing, surrounded by trees, wearing his cloak because he has no trouble fighting in it. Sakura is hidden on the back. He is very quiet and his eyes are closed. She knows that he is shutting down all his senses, except the one that senses any presences. This goes on for about five minutes, and then suddenly Itachi opens his eyes and draws his kunai. He doesn't take a fighting stance she notices. Again a few mintes pass by and the Uchiha just stands in the clearing with his eyes open and his kunai drawn. Then Sakura gets a bit distracted, when she feels the sudden urge to sneeze. She curses inwardly. She can't, she musn't! But the need is so big. She concentrates and repeats to herself: I will not sneeze, I will not sneeze. She closes her eyes. It works, the urge slowly disappears. She feels relieved. Then she hears movement and quickly opens her eyes.

Itachi crouches and jumps up into a tree. And then, exactely on the spot where he stood just a second ago, a kunai with explosion tag lands. Only a small explosion follows, but Sakura still covers her ears. A small crater appears in the middle of the clearing, as the smoke slowly disappears. Itachi jumps out of the tree and lands next to the crater. Sakura removes her hands from her ears and stays motionless again. The girl watches the trees carefully to see who threw the kunai. And then, her heart again skips some beats. The ground slowly starts to move and a man steps out of it. She recognizes that way... She now sees the man she never wanted to see again. Long hair, poisonous eyes... Orochimaru.

''Itachi-san...'' he steps fully out of the ground and also walks to the crater. ''It's been a long time since we last met.'' Itachi is still crouched and doesn't say a word. Sakura can only see his back from her position, but she has a perfect view on Orochimaru's pale face. Her eyes go from Itachi to Orochimaru. But stay the longest on Orochimaru, observing his every move, watching every breath he takes. She's reading his bodylanguage, in order to see through a possible attack.

''I received the message.'' he tells while Itachi is still in his crouched position. He continues: ''That Akatsuki wants a scroll that I have. Is tha-''

''Where is he?'' Itachi cuts him off. Orochimaru doesn't finish his sentence but looks at the elder Uchiha. Then he starts laughing and shrugs. ''Somewhere over there, I guess.'' he chuckles, pointing behind him.

Itachi tilts his head to the left. A sign which meant that they were dealing with a trap. They had agreed on some signs, but they had chosen signs that were almost unnoticeble. He had explained to her earlier that Orochimaru wouldn't expect him to be alone. Orochimaru is a very clever man, he had told her.

''You are not planning on giving me the scroll.'' he doesn't ask it, he states it.

The snake-man smirks and again licks his lips. ''Nope.''

Itachi remains quiet and doesn't move for a few seconds. ''I see.''

And then things go very fast. Itachi instantly jumps into the crater, but Orochimaru on the other hand, jumps out. They both start performing handseals at a very quick pace. In the crater, several clones of Itachi appear. From her high position, Sakura has a hard time counting them, cause when there are seven of them, it's her sign to be ready to jump in.

_Five... six and seven._

Adrenaline pumps into her nervesystem, her heartbeat speeds up. She feels excited, she actually wants to join Itachi. She enjoys the fact that she is working together with him like this. She likes being on his side in stead of the side that fights him. But she has no idea why he is telling her to stand by already. Can't he deal with Orochimaru himself? Anyways, she is ready. She watches the two of them carefully.

Then out of the blue, a second figure appears, only this time from the shadows of the woods. The figure steps into the first beams of sunlight. Dark raven hair, wearing clothes that she doesn't recognize, but she does recognize the person wearing them.

_Sasuke...!_

He draws his katana, and approaches the fighting two. Orochimaru and Itachi are still performing handseals and every now and then the ground shakes, but there never appears a crack or another crater. Probably because one of them counters the attack. For a few moments she feels angry at Itachi. He must have known that they were meeting Orochimaru and thus Sasuke. But he chose not to tell her. He chose to tell her that they were meeting an old friend. That bastard knew she was going to see Sasuke. And now, she wasn't sure if she was going to stand the shame. He was testing her... if he gave her the signal, would she come? Even if Sasuke, her former-crush and ex-teammate was standing there? The pinkhaired Akatsuki member didn't get time to think about that, because Itachi had given the signal. He had used a fire technique. Sakura reaches her hand to her pouch, draws a kunai and quickly dispells her camouflage-jutsu. She sees Sasuke's eyes shooting up at her hiding spot, when she draws her weapon.

This is it. Either she jumps out and help Itachi like she is supposed to, or she runs like a coward. She makes her decicion...

Of course she jumps out. Yesterday she had decided that she would kill Konohamaru. And she would stand the shame, because that stinking bastard called Sasuke was a fucking traitor too. This was to gain a little of Itachi's trust, she would do this. No failure! She jumps, while Sasuke is still watching her hidingspot. She jumps, with her kunai in her hand, concentrated, her eyes hardened.

He almost doesn't recognize her with that outfit, and he almost forgets about Itachi. Looking at her, jumping towards him in a slowmotion occupies his complete attention. His jaw drops a bit and then notices that she isn't jumping at him. No she jumps towards Itachi and Orochimaru. He understands that she isn't here to ''rescue'' him together with Naruto. No this time he is not her goal, like he was the previous time he saw her. No, when he sees her jump to his brother and stand behind him, back to back, he grits his teeth.

The slowmotion seems to be over, and to Sasuke, everything falls into place. Orochimaru and Itachi both halt their movements and handseals. Orochimaru quickly jumps backwards and drops his hands, Itachi does so too. The snake looks from Itachi to Sakura to Sasuke. All attention is fixed on Sasuke. He looks at the duo standing in the middle of the small crater. Standing there together, back to back.

''Sakura...'' he speaks in a soft way and she shivers, because that the way he always said her name. Cold and emotionless, but controlled and softly.

''What the hell are you doing here?'' he asks bitterly, piercing her eyes with his black ones. With the kunai still in her right hand, she halfly turns to Sasuke. The way he always did to her... Uchiha-style. Her head cocks to the side, she looks at him from her eyecorner. Somehow she enjoys doing this. She looks at his eyes momentarily before speaking.

''I'm assisting my teammate.'' Somehow she thinks that this is what Itachi wants her to do. His eyes narrow and his katana suddenly points at her. She hears Orochimaru laugh behind her with that yukky voice.

''You're assisting him?'' he laughs coldly ''Is this one of your and Naruto's ridiculous attempts to get me back again? I can tell you, this won't work.''

Someway, somehow Sakura got into the ''arrogant'' mood and enjoyed herself talking with Sasuke in this way. ''Tsk tsk...'' she shakes her head a bit, Itachi turns around to watch the two, but never forgetting about Orochimaru standing on his left.

''Sorry Sasuke, but I'm not interested in you. You shouldn't think so high of yourself. You're not the only person in this world, you know...'' she mocks him, with her sugarsweet voice. She knows exactly how to irritate him, how to anger him. And that's exactly what it took. He jumps forwards, with the intention on cutting off her head with his deadly Katana. But Itachi's voice stops him at safe distance. He stops his little brother by just calling his name.

''Sasuke...'' He stands still, and lowers his katana.

''What?'' he snaps irritatedly. Sakura hears Orochimaru sitting down on the ground obviously finding this situation interesting. For now he is no threat.

''What is it?'' he shouts again, impatiently. Suddenly the atmosphere around the four of them changes. Sakura feels Itachi standing closely behind her. Sasuke still watches his elder brother impatiently. Sakura is startled when she feels Itachi's breath in her neck. She coughs short to hide it, but she doesn't know what to expect. What is Itachi going to do? A long silence fills the woods and the clearing. For a few moments they only hear the wind rushing through the leafs. Sakura still feels the adrenaline in her body. And then her heartbeat speeds up again, when she feels Itachi's hand brush away her hair from her neck. He softly holds her hair behind his hand, while his fingers start caressing her right cheek. Sakura stops herself when she feels the sudden urge to ask what the hell he is doing. Her widened eyes slighly narrow again, she calms herself.

_Okay Itachi, I really don't know what the hell you are going to do. I'll just trust you. _She momentarily closes her eyes and calms herself, her heartbeat slows again. When she opens them again she sees the dirty look on Sasuke's face.

''Sasuke.'' Itachi's voice speaks near her left ear. Again she feels his breath in her neck and in her ear, she supresses shivers. ''Does this... bother you?''

The girl wants to gasp. Itachi's tongue is making a long trail from her jaw to her cheek. She really wants to gasp, but she doesn't. The girl controls herself completely. She is even able to keep looking straight at Sasuke, while she lets Itachi ''lick'' her in a very erotic way. She feels the structure of Itachi's tongue and strangely doesn't find it as distgusting as she expected herself to. She watches Sasuke's expression carefully. She saw that he had no idea what expression to show. Anger, sadness, should he laugh or show no emotion at all. What Itachi asked was exactly the question. Does he care, or not? Does this bother him?

''Y-you...'' he starts and he can only look at Itachi, smirking and touching Sakura's cheek with his lips.

''You... She would n-never.'' And now he understands. Sakura joined Akatsuki, got teamed up with his brother and he got to see this. _Fuck. _

He regains his control and calmth. He stands up straight and watches the two with his emotionless eyes again. Like a real ninja. Itachi stands up straight too, and places his hand on Sakura's shoulder, pushing her a bit to the right, letting her know that she should leave the crater.

''Now, fight me with all the anger, all the hatred you just felt. Fight me the best you can.'' Sakura understands now. Itachi wanted to make Sasuke angry, so that the fight would be harder for him. He succeeded in a very clever way. She smirks as she leaves the crater, carefull to avoid Orochimaru. The pink haired kunoichi leans against a tree and sighs deeply. Her way of speaking to Sasuke had been effective, it had woken up Sasuke's anger. But Itachi, hell, he drew the monster out. He had woken up the beast.

_Hell that felt so good. _She did not know why irritating Sasuke had felt so good, she'd been enjoying herself so much when she treated him that way. In that arrogant way. The way he had always treated her and others. It had felt so great to send it back at him, she sighs again happily and watches Itachi and Sasuke with interest. _So, what will happen now?_

As expected, Itachi and Sasuke begin their battle. Sakura analyses their fightingstyle and tries to see who is actually stronger. She thinks it's Itachi, she hopes it's Itachi. Sasuke swings very quickly with his deadly sharp and long katana. But his speed is no match for Itachi's. He has no trouble at all dodging Sasuke's attacks. A few seconds later they starts with a genjutsu battle. Sakura already knows that Sasuke cannot beat Itachi in this area. She watches them carefully, all her attention fixed on the battle. She sees Itachi countering the illusions Sasuke attacks with and sees Sasuke being pulled into one of Itachi's. And then, too late she feels the rushing air, too late she notices the shadows nearing her, too late she sees the snake eyes.

Instantly an iron grip on her arm holds her still. Her eyes widen and she looks at the man capturing her. Orochimaru's snake-like body slowly wraps around her like a real snake would. She looks into his poisonous eyes and feels the fear welling up. She wants to scream when see sees those horrifying eyes, but his hand covers her mouth. His body closes completely around her, the long haired man gives her a throaty laugh when he sees her eyes full of fear. She cannot move, not an inch.

''Not so tough now, huh?!'' he laughs.

* * *

**Sooo that was so difficult, I'm sorry it took me so long to update. I was so busy and out of inspiration. I'm still not completely satisfied about this chapter, but I hope you are.**

**Please let me know. Reviews are highly requested!! **


	8. Chapter 8

**The Manga has revealed a lot, but like I said before, I'm sticking to my own idea.**

**For those who don't read the manga, there MIGHT be some spoilers in the upcomong chapters.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 8:**

_Darkness... All around him. The man sighs, closing his eyes in concentration. Minutes pass, footsteps are heard. The man's eyebrows frown deeply. The lines in his face had become so much clearer in these last few months. A drop of sweat runs down his neck._

_The light is back again, when the man opens his pair of now red eyes. ''So here you are again...''_

_Silence, only the sounds of wood cracking under the other person's weight. Only the sounds of the strong wind outside. _

_''Itachi, what are you hiding behind your back?''_

_Again darkness surrounds the man, this time an everlasting. Blood sprays Itachi's face. He bites his lower lip when the warm liquid runs down his face. He can feel the contrast of the warm drops on his cold skin all too well._

_**--**_

_Itachi's mother sits up, woken by a loud sound in the livingroom. She watches her husband's empty side of the bed. She yawns softly and gets out of bed. The woman makes her way to the door. The wooden floor cracking underneath her bare feet. She shivers in her thin white nightgown._

_''Dear... Where are you?'' She softly opens the bedroom door. ''Is Itachi home? Is...''_

_The woman stops her sentence. Her jaw drops a bit and her pretty eyes widen. Her eyes meet white... snow white. She leans a bit foreward, slowly taking a small step. Strangely instead of being in the hallway, she finds herself in her garden. But beside that, another thing seems to be out of place. Everything is icy and shiny, reflecting the moonlight. It's not winter yet. The frozen grass cracks and crunches underneath her feet. But she can't feel it's coldness. She keeps walking slowly, taking larger steps now. Her breath doesn't turn into a small cloud like it normally does. _

_As she keeps walking, her foot suddenly bumps into something. The woman stops and looks down, but she only sees the grass, nothing else, nothing to bump into. She slowly reaches forward with her foot again. It looks like as if her foot is just reaching into air. But then she feels something hard, something she can't see, something that's isn't there. Or is it? She swallows, a tragic realization came._

_''Itachi?'' she asks with soft voice. And then, very slowly, the icy landscape turns into her livingroom. The large red stains on the carpet become visible to her eyes, so does the face of her husband at her feet._

_Back turned towards her, he can hear her, as he wipes his father's blood off his cheeks with his sleeve. _

_As she kneels down, softly hyperventilating, she touches her dead lover's face. He can't hear her cry, but he know she is. Tears fall down on Fugaku's face as she leans over him. When Itachi turns around, he looks at the hucnhed up figure. On her knees, head hanging low, hands caressing her lover's hair. Minutes pass by like this. He lets her grief, before he proceeds. He waits for her to be ready. He waits for her to acknowledge his presence and to get it over with. After more than ten minutes, the woman braces herself, her hair covering her face like a black curtain._

_''Am I... your enemy?'' Her voice sounds so strange, almost like an echo. A sad expression finds it's way to her face. Strangely, Itachi feels a bit sick when he looks at her. He doesn't respond, just looks at her with activated eyes, but not attacking her either._

_''You always looked at me... as if I were.''_

_''You are not an enemy to me. Just a burden that I need to get rid of.''_

_She chuckles. ''Do you have any idea who I am? Do you?''_

_''I know who you are, Oca-san. I'll always be gratefull to you, for giving birth to me. But that is it. That is where it ends.''_

_Those words hurted Uchiha Mikoto._

_''You were always like this, always seeing everyone as a burden. Friends, family, Sasuke... and me.''_

_He is a bit surprised when she starts crying again, this time with loud sobs. But he pays no attention to it. Women are emotional creatures after all._

_''You are going to die. Whether you deserve to or not. I'm going to kill you.''_

_''Why... why?'' she sobs. He would never let her know. He would never let her know his purpose._

_''Because find your existence no longer necesarry.'' he lies. If this hadn't been his assignement for Akatsuki, he would have let her live. He probably still would have killed his father, but not her. She is no threat at all._

_She stops crying. ''Do it then.'' She permits him. Itachi slowly approaches her as she looks down at her husband again, smiling, loving. One last time. ''Go ahead.''_

_With unknown speed, he is in front of her. And without paying attention to her raising arms, he pushes the katana into her chest and steps forward, putting all his weight in it._

_Without him knowing, he had closed his eyes for a few short moments. And when he opens them, he looks directly into her eyes, which are shining. He feels her arms around him, but he can only watch her eyes. He always knew that he had her eyes. Dark and feminine. He keeps looking at her tears, glowing from the lights outside. She embraces him, because he had never allowed her to before._

_The silent moment of staring ends when she coughs and horrible sounds leaves her throat. Her already broken heart had been pierced. Death awaited her. She holds him tight, ignoring the pain, which was nothing compared to what she had felt all her life when she saw how little her son cared for her. Why hadn't he loved her, it teared her down._

_Her cold and colourless lips touch his forehead for a second. She leans to him as she cannot stand anymore. Her pale and shaky hand touches his cheek._

_''Please...'' she whispers with a shaky voice, as the tears die away._

_A small stream of blood runs down her chin, as Itachi's slowly pulls the katana parts a bit from her, but never looking away from her eyes. She watches his, they seem to be different. But she can't put her finger on it. He looks so much like his father, like Sasuke. Little Sasuke. Her heartbeat slows down, her eyes roll and she closes them. She smiles softly and coughs again._

_''Don't kill Sasuke... Please.''_

_Her arms fall back, her head drops backwards, her breathing stops. Slowly he brings her down to the floor, putting her next to his father._

_''Alright then...''_

* * *

''Not so tough now, huh?!'' he laughs. Sakura struggles, but it's futile. Orochimaru jumps up high into a tree, with her still captured. They're now far away from Itachi. She cannot move her body, Orochimaru's snake-like body is wrapped around her too tight. She knows how a snake kills it's prey, slowly, everytime it's prey exhales, it wraps it's body a little tighter around the prey. Eventually, she will not be able to breath anymore, eventually... she will choke. Was he trying to do that to her now?

Was Orochimaru planning on choking her?

His face is suddenly close to hers. Sakura grits her teeth, she already feels trouble in breathing, as his body wraps around her tighter. She feels something hard in pressing into her stomach. With her hand she tries to feel what it is and slightly pulls at it. She stops when Orochimaru speaks to her. ''You know, girl, that a cobra spits it's poison at it's prey?'' he gives her an evil smirk.

''Get away from me.'' she yells, not knowing what kind of object is pressing into her stomach. Was it a kunai? She touches it again. But as her eyes fix on his poisonous green eyes, it slips her mind. Orochimaru only laughs harder at her words. His eyes momentarily fix on Itachi and Sasuke for a moment. He sees that Sasuke is going to lose again, since he just got stabbed in his leg by Itachi's katana.

''They aim for their prey's eyes, because that's the most sensitive spot. It's prey turns temporarily blind and paralysed, so that the snake can eats it prey alive... slowly.'' She really couldn't stand his voice, it sent unpleasant chills down her spine. Sakura turns her head away to cast a look at Itachi. There is an end coming to their fight, but it looks as if Itachi will spare Sasuke's life yet again.

''Seems I have to hurry.'' She looks at Orochimaru and the second she does, he spits some dark liquid in her eyes. The moment the liquid touches her eyes, she feels the burning pain. The poison is biting her eyes. Her medical senses tell her that the liquid is burning into her veins, once that happens, it will spread through her body. It will spread through her blood, and eventually reach her heart. Then she will most likely... get killed by Orochimaru, because she will be paralysed and blind.

She grits her teeth and grunts in pain. She's in shock, because of the pain, but luckily she can still think. The words he just said to her run through her mind. Is he going to eat her, alive? No, he wouldn't! The spitting was only a distraction, but for what? There was no other use in poisening her, was there?

She closes her eyes, hoping that they would hurt less, and now fails to see Orochimaru's next move. She feels his hair brush her cheek first, and next she feels...

Long teeth sinking into the skin of her neck. Penetrating the musculus trapezius. At first she only feels the pain caused by his teeth, but when he pulls back... white hot pain enters her mind. This time she cries out loudly, immediatly she starts perspiring heavily. Her shoulders and neck wither and her hands starts shaking. Her body starts struggling against the tightness and dyspnea. White spots blur her vision when she opens her eyes in horror. The burning pain spreads through her whole body, through all her cells. Every single part of her burns. She feels like she is being burned alive. Gritting teeth, hot tears, closing her eyes, hyperventilating. There is no way that she can hold down this pain. Sakura throws her head backwards, opens her mouth wide and screams her lungs out. Orochimaru gives a throaty laugh. She keeps screaming as if there would be no end to it. As if she didn't need to breath anymore. Everything burns, everything hurts, screaming was the only thing she could do to lessen the suffering.

Her endless scream echoes through the woods. Itachi's attention immediately fixes on her. With his brilliant mind he translates the images into conclusions. He quickly rams his knee in Sasuke's stomach. The boy collapses.

She didn't know how long she was screaming already, just that she couldn't stop. Orochimaru unwraps from her body and starts attacking Itachi with several jutsus. Itachi is forced to elude and to defend himself. Sakura falls and with that, her screaming stops. She falls, all the way down, her body limp, still crying out in pain. Paralysed, convulsed, unable to rescue herself from death. The girl is already out, already unconscious as she falls all the way down.

**--**

Sakura partly regains consciousness. Her head feels like it could split every second. But she forces her eyes to open. As they do, she notices that she can't see a single thing. All she can see, all there is, is some sort of white/grey mist and a burning pain in her eyes. Her mouth is all dry and her limbs hurt. She doesn't hear a single thing. What happened? Did she fall down?

She can't remember what happened, but strangely enough, she doesn't care. The girl is too tired, too injured to care. The girl can't tell where she is. She can't even tell on what she is lying, just that the floor is hard. She closes her stinging eyes and just lays still. Sakura gives up, and decides not to find out where she is. After a few seconds, when she is very near to sleeping, she hears the wind blowing through the leafs. So she's stil in the woods? The sound is followed by a cold sensation on her skin, caused by a raindrop.

The girl keeps laying very still, even when she starts feeling more raindrops. Just a few second later, it starts raining heavily, and in distance she can hear thunder. But she can't see the lightning. Strangely, the thought of lighting makes her mind wonder off to Kakashi. She wonders where he is at this very moment. Is he looking for her? Is he worried about her?

Her heart aches when she figures that he probably isn't. He never once cared about her back in Konoha, not even when her parents died. Only Sasuke en Naruto had his interest. Her heart aches. But the sound of the rain calms her, the feeling of the cold rain seems to heal the pain in her body. But she knows that's not possible. Is she hallucinating? Yes, the heat she is feeling tells her she is. She weakly lifts her hand to the sky, touching drops.

_The sky is crying. Can you hear it sobb? Can you feel it's pain?_

Crazy thoughts like those run through her mind. Her raving mind. Her eyes open, but she can only see white mist. It looks pretty in a way, but she fears that she'll never be able to see again. What if she stays blind forever? Her head hurts so much. A second there, she thinks that she can hear Kakashi's footsteps coming closer. A second there, she thinks she can see Kakashi's shadow hovering over. But she passes out again.

**--**

''Naruto...''

He doesn't respond.

''Naruto!'' she raises her voice, causing him to look up. She knew that look, she'd seen it a few times before. Tsunade sighs and looks at Naruto's sad expression.

''It's been ten days, Naruto. And there is not a single clue or trail that we can follow. Neither has she left us a note or has anyone any idea where she might be.'' The boy looks down again, feeling so desperate. ''Perhaps she really has gone to look for Sasuke.'' he whispers.

''I think there is no way we can tell. She could be dead, you know?''

He clenches his fists. ''She's not dead. I know she isn't. You can try to tell me any crap you want. But I won't accept that solution.'' He stands and glares at her. Tsunade stands too.

''I'm glad you see it that way.''

Naruto frowns. ''Wha-?''

''I am sending you on a mission to look for her, anywhere you want. You'll be leaving tomorrow, in a three men team. Pick your members and don't you dare returning without her.'' Tsunade slams her fist on her desk, but smiles encouraging.

Naruto eyes glinster and he nods shortly, before turning around and running out of her office.

''I know that you will find her Naruto. I know you will.'' she whispers as she sits down again.

--

When Sakura opens her eyes, she feels relieved that she can see again. But the first thing she sees is Itachi. He is leaning over her, looking at her. He doesn't say anything, just straightens his back again and sits down next to her. His back is turned towards her. Her vision is still slightly blurred, but her eyes don't sting anymore. She notices that the sky is dark and that they're still in the woods. She sees some flashes when she tries to sit up, but she is very content about it. Her limbs are still very sore, especially her shoulders and neck. Which brings her to...

With a sudden move she reaches her hand to her trapezius muscle, touching, feeling, searching. She doesn't feel a single thing other than skin. But she can't see... ''Itachi-san? Is there-''

''A black seal in you neck...? Yes.'' he looks at her from the corner of his eyes. Her hand drops, she has so many questions. She doesn't know which to ask first. She looks around for a bit. She glances up to the trees and watches the ground carefully. She notices that there is no crater near to where they are. ''Where are we?''

''Two kilometer from where we fought Orochimaru.'' She looks at him. He seems to be alright, his cloak is dirty and ripped on his shoulder and down his leg. He has a deep scratch on his cheek and his hair looks messy, but other than that he looks just fine.

''Why?''

''Why, what?'' He shifts, now sitting straight across her.

''Why did he bite me? What use am I to him? I have no cool bloodline limit.''

Itachi looks to their surroundings and absentmindedly answers: ''He didn't bite you to make you one of his apprentices, like he usually does.''

Sakura sighs, so even Orochimaru thought of her as a weak kunoichi. ''Then why did he do it?''

''He must have guessed that you are Akatsuki's medic and that I'm teamed up with you. It's considerable that he wanted to mark a possession of mine with his seal. Also there is a very small surviving-chance when you get that seal. He probably would have liked it if you got killed.'' She swallows and silently thanks her strong body (she developed as a medic), that's what must have saved her from death. But the fact that she survived the seal... didn't that mean something? Didn't that mean that she is strong enough for it, strong enough to be Orochimaru's apprentice... in a way? Well, Orochimaru probably didn't even expect her to survive.

''What to do now? I saw what happened to Sasuke when he got his seal, a long time ago. I have to get rid of it.''

He turns to her and reaches his arm out. With a lot of effort, Sakura magages to shift, reavealing her back to him. He watches the seal carefully. Itachi places his finger on it, but withdraws it when the girl hisses in pain. He pushes some locks behind his forehead protector. Indeed the same one he marked Sasuke with. ''There is nothing I can do about it now. But we'll have leader look at it when we get back.''

''Oh.'' He stands again and Sakura lies down again, noticing how weak her body still is. She wonders what she looks like. Probably like a zombie or something. ''How long was I out?''

''Nearly twelve hours.''

''What?!'' Her eyes widen in shock. ''That long?! What happened then?''

''I was fighting Sasuke and then Orochimaru captured you. Do you remember that?'' She nods and he thinks for a while, then he looks at her, eyes slightly narrowed.

''What?'' she asks him with fragile voice.

''You should train harder. You are really weak.''

''You say what?!''

''You heard me.'' he responds calmly. Of course she heard him, but she felt really surprised about the fact that he was suddenly attacking her.

''Why the fuck are you suddenly telling me that I'm weak?'' She tries to sit up, but fails. Itachi of course noticed this.

''Can't you figure?'' If Sakura hadn't been weak and sore, she would have teared down five trees in anger. Her head starts to hurt again so she takes a deep breath, trying to calm down.

''Is it because Orochimaru caught me?'' She guesses, trying to speak without anger in her voice, because staying emotionless was important in this matter. He only nods and then continues. ''I had almost finished Sasuke when Orochimaru bit you and you fell down from high and I had to catch you.''

She didn't respond anymore, she barely even heard what he said. How come this was HER fault? Didn't HE leave HER to go fight with Sasuke?! I mean, come on she was absolutely no match for Orochimaru. He repeated his sentence. ''I had to catch you.''

Now she couldn't hold back anymore, with a raw voice she starts yelling: ''It wasn't my damn fault! How was I supposed to deal with that, when I was in such pain? Do you even know what it feels like? Do you?'' Her throat hurts from yelling, tears appear in her eyes, but she supresses them.

_I will not cry in front of him. I'll never cry in his presence._

''Then if it hurted that much, you should have paid more attention to him. Then you shouldn't even have let him capture you.'' he whispers. Not even trying to sound angry. He just narrowed his eyes and now watches her more arrogant than usually. She resists the urge to yell at him and to punch his arrogant face, she is too tired. Isn't he concerned at all? Hell there was a bruise in her neck. Orochimaru's bruise... and she nearly survived it.

Suddenly she got mentally slapped. Come to think of it, she remembers that she was caught up in Itachi's and Sasuke's fight. She remembers that she forgot about Orochimaru. There was nothing she could say. He was right. She'd let him catch her, without even running or fighting. She had been too careless. How could she just have let him?

''I'm only going to say this once, Sakura-san.'' Sakura looks up, green orbs looking into red ones.

''Teams in Akatsuki are different from Konoha's, because you're dealing with different people here. I'm sure that Deidara-san won't mind ''catching'' you in the future. But I do. You shouldn't rely on me, because in the end... I only do things if they're profitable for me. For me, no one else.''

Here she was again. Roughly being pulled back to reality again. Why in the world had she felt happy about being on Itachi's ''side'' of the battle. Why?

''I understand perfectly well.'' she responds with a dark tone. ''It won't happen again.'' When Sakura looks him in the eyes again, she sees that his look has changed. The arrogance has disappeared. Almost as if he had faked it. He nods shortly.

''Now, in order for us to get home, I think it would be wise if you started crying now.''

* * *

**Oke sorry for the weird ending. This chapter was quiet long, wasn't it? You'd better start reviewing now!!**

**One quiestion, since I'm not english:**

**When you use the word: to nodd, like this:**

**He nodds shortly.**

**Do you spell it with two d's, or one?**

**xx**


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